a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[Chalked]

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 Times a night.
Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.
After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I’m not bein too forward, I’d luv to ’ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my ouse, we could ’ave a lorra fun."
So they went back to her place and got comfortable. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.
Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good,*let me shleep for half an hour,*and we can have better shex. But while I’m shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma Willie in your right hand".
Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says "Okay".
He sleeps for half an hour, awakens,*and they have even better sex than before.
Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour,*we can have the besht shex yet. You’ll have to.......’
"I know Sean. Yer want me to ’old onto yer bat ’n balls again. No problem Hun".
Cilla complies with the routine.
The results this time are absolutely mind blowing.
Once it’s all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks "Sean, tell me, dis ’oldin yer balls in one hand, and yer Willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?"
Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the pig stole ma wallet!"

Pms!

Very good.

 

[Ermintrude]

If you had only been at right vent today....

Talking about phones . I was saying how hardy my iPhone was. Threw it, it missed the wall 12' high 20' wide and flew about 40' and then hit the window wall. Apparently my face was a picture. Got up to pick it up..... Phew it was fine . Whole class laughing their **** off.

 

[turnpin]

Dr.Dave had slept with one of his patient's and the guilt was giving him some sleepless night's it wasn't helped by the voice's in his head....don't worry you are single and not the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you will not be the last .......then the other voice said......but Dr.Dave don't forget that you are a vet...lol ....regards Turnpin:wink5:

 

[ShaunCorbs]

Dr.Dave had slept with one of his patient's and the guilt was giving him some sleepless night's it wasn't helped by the voice's in his head....don't worry you are single and not the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you will not be the last .......then the other voice said......but Dr.Dave don't forget that you are a vet...lol ....regards Turnpin:wink5:

very good one

 

[stevetheplumber]

http://www.motorhomefun.co.uk/forum/attachments/image-jpg.70631/

 

[ShaunCorbs]

http://www.motorhomefun.co.uk/forum/attachments/image-jpg.70631/

error you need to be log in to view

 

[Ray Stafford]

error you need to be log in to view

Worse still, you need to be a member of "motorhomefun.co.uk".

I wonder if thats some kind of euphemism?

 

[stevetheplumber]

strange i cant copy image and paste????

 

[stevetheplumber]

try that

 

[Dotty]

View attachment 22428 try that

Subtle!

 

[stevetheplumber]

to subtle my wife didnt get it

 

[julesverne]

A women was admitted to hospital today with a hoover pipe wedged up her fanny.
Although she is in intensive care the doctors say she is picking up nicely!!

 

[julesverne]

.......

 

[lame plumber]

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

 

[lame plumber]

A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties the husband to a chair and whilst tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”