Worst things a customer can say.......

[secret squirrel]

:ciappa: Keep it brief,

I'll start,

After you've been paid.

"while your here, can you just"

 

[SimonG]

"I don't think I like it there!" Well that's where you asked for it, of course it can be moved at great additional expense

"Those tiles (they chose), I'm not too sure about them, can I change them!" Of course you can change them, as part of a seperate job, at a newly organised time at great additional expense

"I don't know why you can't change them bath taps now, it's only a two minute job!" If it's only a two minute job please feel free to attempt yourself, then call me when you have flooded the house

"The taps been dripping for months but I need you to look at them in the next two hours" I'm afraid if you can't wait until I am available then you will need to phone somebody else.

"My boilers gone to lockout, but you can only come to fix it after 8.00 tonight!" ROFLMAO

 

[WaterTight]

..Daddy?

 

[Guest123]

Young cute blonde, and me thinking we had some chemistry going intil she asked

....way back in YOUR day, how was it done?

 

[midge]

"I'll just make myself a cup of tea and let you get on with it"

 

[REDSAW]

'give me your best price for that and i will have it done, dont forget i have 20,000 other properties for the cp12's coming up soon'.


'are you going to be much longer'

i have come to fix your cwst, = 'can you take your shoes off'

 

[secret squirrel]

I didn't think to take the stuff out of the airing cupboard for you.

 

[stevetheplumber]

is that all?
also the worst thing a woman can say to you

 

[GQuigley67]

theres a leak and wheres my cat ?

 

[Resolute]

is that all?
also the worst thing a woman can say to you

You talking from experience?!

 

[Barry98]

What are you doing in my bed

Sorry I didn't fill the kettle befre you turned the water off

I'd make you a drink but we got no milk

Can I hold your tool for you

 

[Phil]

"Don't mind me, carry on Phil"

That was said to me while I was doing a bathroom job, I had my back to the door when customer came in, dropped his trousers and sat on the toilet which was in the other corner! As soon as I heard the first 'noise' I was out of there.

We did get on well and he had a very strange sense of humour!

 

[SUSSEX MAN]

What I do not like is, That was quick. As If to make you feel guilty on how much you charged

 

[dontknowitall]

You smell

 

[Dannypipe]

'Is that all? I was expecting it to cost more than that'.

You almost feel like saying, 'it can cost more, just hand me back the bill and I'll adjust it'.

In fairness it doesn't happen very often. Mainly its 'HOW MUCH???'

 

[SUSSEX MAN]

I like that dontknowitall that a good one

 

[WaterTight]

Young cute blonde, and me thinking we had some chemistry going intil she asked

....way back in YOUR day, how was it done?

Even though I know you're not the chap from the Sex Pistols there's something so perusasive about an Avatar which is a person's face that I do find myself thinking of you as some young punk rocker.

 

[dontknowitall]

That's a small tool

 

[AWheating]

me "now remember you cant use the toilet because i have removed your soil stack and will be working below"

1/2 an hour later

tennant "oh i forgot"

 

[Phil]

I'm 33 but I look about 12, and sometimes I get customers saying I don't look old enough to have my own business!

Take it as a compliment really.:75:

 

[Guest123]

Can you come back tomorrow as I haven't managed to the bank yet.

 

[obseen16]

if i pay you cash will you knock £XX off?

Erm no those are my rates end of story.

 

[stevetheplumber]

You talking from experience?!

well it was a cold day

 

[Resolute]

well it was a cold day

That made me laugh!

 

[pobsdad]

Got a gorgeous customer out of a pickle once and she opened her arms wide,and said,"I could give you a big hug,but your all,erm,yeuch!"

 

[Resolute]

Got a gorgeous customer out of a pickle once and she opened her arms wide,and said,"I could give you a big hug,but your all,erm,yeuch!"

Was that before or after you'd got cleaned up?!

 

[Barry98]

no he just made a mess of her

 

[Mrs Tara Plumbi]

"I normally do all my own plumbing and I could fot a new boiler myself but I'm not gas registered".

Or
"I've had a 10 quotes so far, but they are all too high."

 

[NickH]

When you arrive to quote for a new bathroom they look at there list and ask "now which one are you ?"

 

[AWheating]

customer "thanks for coming out, normally the bloke next door services my fire but hes on holiday"

me "oh, is he a gas engineer?"

customer "no, he works in Aldi, but he is good at diy............. whats that smoke thingy?" :hammer: