L
lame plumber
went to the horses tonight to strim round the edges of the field for wife n daughter. So after an hour and fed up with being a free meal for numerous horse flys and bleeding from all their lovely lickle bites, I gave up. Wandered over to one of the daughters nags, a pleasant warmblood (her breed) who loves nothing more than to suck your ears and hair, really folks, and swatgted some of said horseflys that were bugging her as well.
Now because my daughter always does as she preaches, ie ties the horse up using a weak link on the head collar rope, never leaves the field gate open if the horses are out etc etc, when the next horse fly bit said 16 hand high mare, when she reared up over my head it obviously broke the weak link and came down and settled quietly so I could catch her....................... But your offspring never do as they preach, so when said mare towered over my said head, i was surprised to hear the ripping of wood and an 8 foot length of 6x1 wizz past my nose, accompanied by a full hay net, BUT not as half surprised as the mare herself, who now did a bloody good imitation of an autogyro as she shot out of the field through the open gate, plank twirling over her head, as she galloped off down the lane towards a people carrier full of grockles and their spotty offspring.
Luckily said daughter of mine can do a fairly good gallop herself and being a bit of a horse whisperer herself caught up with mad mare and released her from the autogyro that was chasing her down the road, such that she calmed down and came home. I myself, to avoid the abuse coming in my direction decided I would leave and go home, best that way as what ever had just happened could only be my fault.
So in the van, down the lane, hopped out the van, lobbed the wood and nets in the back ( repairs can wait) and asked the grockle husband to drop back into a gateway to let me by. I swear his missus had ****ed herself as it looked like a dark stain between her legs when i looked in to thank them. Still its not often you meet a large brown horse fleeing down the road towards you nice new people carrier with a mini helicopter over its head, you must wonder at some stage if its going to stop or run over your bonnet to get through 🙂
oh It was my fault as the missus and daughter havent spoken to me yet,
Now because my daughter always does as she preaches, ie ties the horse up using a weak link on the head collar rope, never leaves the field gate open if the horses are out etc etc, when the next horse fly bit said 16 hand high mare, when she reared up over my head it obviously broke the weak link and came down and settled quietly so I could catch her....................... But your offspring never do as they preach, so when said mare towered over my said head, i was surprised to hear the ripping of wood and an 8 foot length of 6x1 wizz past my nose, accompanied by a full hay net, BUT not as half surprised as the mare herself, who now did a bloody good imitation of an autogyro as she shot out of the field through the open gate, plank twirling over her head, as she galloped off down the lane towards a people carrier full of grockles and their spotty offspring.
Luckily said daughter of mine can do a fairly good gallop herself and being a bit of a horse whisperer herself caught up with mad mare and released her from the autogyro that was chasing her down the road, such that she calmed down and came home. I myself, to avoid the abuse coming in my direction decided I would leave and go home, best that way as what ever had just happened could only be my fault.
So in the van, down the lane, hopped out the van, lobbed the wood and nets in the back ( repairs can wait) and asked the grockle husband to drop back into a gateway to let me by. I swear his missus had ****ed herself as it looked like a dark stain between her legs when i looked in to thank them. Still its not often you meet a large brown horse fleeing down the road towards you nice new people carrier with a mini helicopter over its head, you must wonder at some stage if its going to stop or run over your bonnet to get through 🙂
oh It was my fault as the missus and daughter havent spoken to me yet,
