Best chat up lines.

[Resolute]

Following on from another thread, what's the best/funniest/worst chat up lines you've used or heard?

I'll start you off:
You've got lovely legs, what time do they open?

 

[Irish]

the word of the day is legs , so lets go back to yours and spread the word

 

[lame plumber]

how much do you charge?

 

[Dotty]

Your father's a thief. He stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes........

 

[Ermintrude]

Any danger of Coffie in the morning?

 

[lame plumber]

Coffie? is that some sado masochistic thing?

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

How do you like your eggs in the morning......I like mine with a kiss!

 

[IDCHAPPY]

Are you hungry? You can have my meat and 2 veg...

 

[Resolute]

That's a tight pair of trousers, how'd you get into them?

 

[sheff paul]

I can say anything,their normally bound and gagged by this stage....

 

[Ray Stafford]

I don't think I can beat one posted a year or so ago by someone

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
so get in the van

 

[Ermintrude]

I don't think I can beat one posted a year or so ago by someone

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
so get in the van

Was it posted to you ray on a restraining order from Julie mcleans (national pr for bumbcenter ) solicitor as the reason for the restraining order?

 

[Masood]

Him: Fancy going back to mine for a pizza and a f*ck?
Her: No.
Him: Don't you like pizza?

 

[Ray Stafford]

Was it posted to you ray on a restraining order from Julie mcleans (national pr for bumbcenter ) solicitor as the reason for the restraining order?

They have PR? PR? PR?

Ho ho ho. Not very good, is it?

 

[SimonG]

That's a lovely dress you're wearing. It would look better on my bedroom floor

 

[sheff paul]

I always 'enter' through the back door....

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

You'd look gorgeous with me hanging out the back of you.

 

[Resolute]

Do you wanna play rape?
No!
That's the spirit!




Ok, I'll get my coat!

 

[Kyle87]

I don't think I can beat one posted a year or so ago by someone

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
so get in the van

That was me ray

 

[Kyle87]

There's a ladder in your tights.......can i climb up it

 

[Riley]

How do you like your eggs in the morning......I like mine with a kiss!

Poached, scrambled or fertilized

 

[Riley]

Said it before but

does this smell like chloroform to you?

 

[JCplumb]

I got a lass when I used to work in Pompey (Hayling Island) by saying 'How have I not ****ed you yet?'
Was rather pleased with that one, was 2 pumps and a squirt though...

 

[MOSSEP]

I got these from an inmate in Stamford Hill, not sure how well they would go down at Weatherspoons though!

'Get in the bush, i've got a knife'

and his best one was

'lets not turn this rape into a murder'

 

[Kyle87]

A girl in a bar (2-3 months ago)heard me say, "I'd bang her"

To my surprise she took this as a compliment and ended up being a f-buddy for a few weeks. She was my sisters friend too lol

 

[Ermintrude]

A girl in a bar (2-3 months ago)heard me say, "I'd bang her"

To my surprise she took this as a compliment and ended up being a f-buddy for a few weeks. She was my sisters friend too lol

She was your sister .... Admit it! Leicestershire full of inbreeds. Nearly as bad a northumberland.

 

[Kyle87]

I'm not that bad. I am bad.....but not that bad buddy

 

[stevetheplumber]

get yer coat luv youve pulled

 

[JCplumb]

I got these from an inmate in Stamford Hill, not sure how well they would go down at Weatherspoons though!

'Get in the bush, i've got a knife'

and his best one was

'lets not turn this rape into a murder'

Reminds me of one I've seen on another forum:
'I have a ***** and a knife, one of them is going in you'

 

[missplumb]

"how would you like to see the soles of your boots in my wing mirrors"

was out the other night and passed a rather larger breasted young lady and my mate stumped up "did she just shake her tic tac's at me?" at which she replied with a chop to the groin!!!!!

 

[bassmonster]

Guaranteed to pull.....

......You know, I’m not really this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet