Best chat up lines.

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Resolute

Following on from another thread, what's the best/funniest/worst chat up lines you've used or heard?

I'll start you off:
You've got lovely legs, what time do they open?
 
the word of the day is legs , so lets go back to yours and spread the word
 
Your father's a thief. He stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes........
 
How do you like your eggs in the morning......I like mine with a kiss!
 
I don't think I can beat one posted a year or so ago by someone

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
so get in the van
 
Ray Stafford said:
I don't think I can beat one posted a year or so ago by someone

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a knife
so get in the van
Click to expand...

Was it posted to you ray on a restraining order from Julie mcleans (national pr for bumbcenter ) solicitor as the reason for the restraining order?
 
Him: Fancy going back to mine for a pizza and a f*ck?
Her: No.
Him: Don't you like pizza?
 
That's a lovely dress you're wearing. It would look better on my bedroom floor :)
 
Do you wanna play rape?
No!
That's the spirit!




Ok, I'll get my coat!
 
Said it before but

does this smell like chloroform to you?
 
I got these from an inmate in Stamford Hill, not sure how well they would go down at Weatherspoons though!

'Get in the bush, i've got a knife'

and his best one was

'lets not turn this rape into a murder'
 
A girl in a bar (2-3 months ago)heard me say, "I'd bang her"

To my surprise she took this as a compliment and ended up being a f-buddy for a few weeks. She was my sisters friend too lol
 
Kyle87 said:
A girl in a bar (2-3 months ago)heard me say, "I'd bang her"

To my surprise she took this as a compliment and ended up being a f-buddy for a few weeks. She was my sisters friend too lol
Click to expand...

She was your sister .... Admit it! Leicestershire full of inbreeds. Nearly as bad a northumberland.
 
"how would you like to see the soles of your boots in my wing mirrors"

was out the other night and passed a rather larger breasted young lady and my mate stumped up "did she just shake her tic tac's at me?" at which she replied with a chop to the groin!!!!!
 
Last edited:
Guaranteed to pull.....

......You know, I’m not really this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet
 
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