Worst sayings and best come-backs

[Toxic Ted]

"Do you want a bag for that?"
"No thanks i've got one at home!"......followed by six seconds of silence before the penny drops.

 

[julesverne]

If you want my come back you'll have to scrape it off the back of your mums teeth.

not my come back line it's jimmy carr's

but after the day ive had this thread has cheered me up.

thanks jase

 

[rpm]

Don`t need you to tell me, I`ve fitted 100`s of these!

Yeah! Well you carry on mate and we are gonna meet again before the warranty runs out!

Actually happened today!!!

As a follow on, went to a job today and 2 guys there were fitting out a new en-suite bathroom. I noticed a very slight error re the sani install and they were both great about it.

 

[bright spark]

There's those that don't know, and then there's those that know that they don't know

 

[GasmanxxxR1]

"if you want it done any rougher, you'll have to do it yourself"

"a run away horse wont stop to look at it"

personal favourite:

"hows my pipe work look?"

"a blind man would be pleased to see it"

 

[rpm]

Doing a saniflo service................

Cor your hoover pongs!

No madam thats not my hoover that`s your shyte!

 

[WaterTight]

-Pipework's a bit ****ed isn't it?
-What makes you think I'm not?

-You planning on finishing today?
-You planning on any dangerous foreign travel?

-There's black water all over my carpet.
-No charge

-This doesn't look very good!
-You're hardly open-casket material yourself you jizz-slipper

 

[fogarty]

I'd like to agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

 

[julesverne]

I'd like to agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

That is class

 

[Ermintrude]

Why don't you **** off back to your office p1rck.

Why don't you walk straight to your car and save your boss the phone call. Get off my site now.