Worst sayings and best come-backs

[rpm]

Doing a saniflo service................

Cor your hoover pongs!

No madam thats not my hoover that`s your shyte!

 

[WaterTight]

-Pipework's a bit ****ed isn't it?
-What makes you think I'm not?

-You planning on finishing today?
-You planning on any dangerous foreign travel?

-There's black water all over my carpet.
-No charge

-This doesn't look very good!
-You're hardly open-casket material yourself you jizz-slipper

 

[fogarty]

I'd like to agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

 

[julesverne]

I'd like to agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.

That is class

 

[Ermintrude]

Why don't you **** off back to your office p1rck.

Why don't you walk straight to your car and save your boss the phone call. Get off my site now.

 

[turnpin]

Are you taking the p**s out of me....no you dont need any help your doing fine on your own!

Heavy plumber I worked with when ribbed about his weight replied..Its your mums fault every time I pop round for a quickie she gives me a biscuit before I leave......
regards Turnpinunk:

 

[helpsy]

How can you be so stupid with only one head?!

 

[Ray Stafford]

I am normally brusque but polite to tele-sales people, on the grounds that at least they have a job, and aren't on benefits. However, there is a particular type of know-it-all tele-sales person who really gets on my t1ts. I reserve this response for them.

Me: "I will buy your product/service, if you can answer one question to my satisfaction"

Them: "Ok, whats the question?"

Me: "If you know so much more than me about whats best for my business, how come I'm running it, and you still have a **** job in telesales?"

Them: "Click. bbbrrrrrrrrrr....."

 

[Ermintrude]

What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It's what we know for sure that just ain't so.

 

[helpsy]

I think the brains part of the sperm ran down your Mum's leg !

 

[newcastle phill]

Some well balanced opinions here...

Yous obviously have a chip on each shoulder

 

[Leo21]

Customer "I'm home after six"


" so am I"

 

[nicro3]

You can't Bullsxxt a Bullsxxter

 

[billybob150811]

"it was alright before you touched it" "so it was" depends how such sarcasm you can intone in your voice

 

[bigads28]

I was pestered by PPI people on the mobile and got to know the numbers they called on. I started answering them...

"Hello Gas emergency!"

Hello this isn't a sales call.

This is a gas emergency line, what is your emergency!

Click....................