L
lame plumber
just got back from a terrifying ride in daughters mini cooper!!
bout 1/4 of an hour ago, she flies into my comfy retreat, DAD theres someone breaking into your van!!!!!!!!!!, so mad rhino is out of his chair in his wooly slippers, grabbing car keys on the way out of the door on his way to the van, somehow fetching up a wine bottle on the way!! arrive at van, cursory check all is ok, but alarms are going off down the road. daughter arrives, first comment, god you run fast for an old git!! Any how, she spys down the road some pykying b'steward trying to walk away nonchalantly, until I bellow come here you festering bum..., and off he goes, with a mate, at speed,so try to get into van to find wrong keys so madam says my car and off we go........................ them mini copers do have a nice turn of speed, not even got my belt on and shes hit a corner in second and my face is flat against the side window, then the windscreen as she hits the brakes for a junction. so I dial the plod as we pootle round and they have a chat as my commentary of the little tinkers is taken down, interspersed with for fffs sake slow down or youll run em down before seeing them, and said operator asks her to go home to meet the dog unit on their way. Got home, few deep breathes and mention to youngest offspring that she might wish to buy a less vibrant car in future, my heart cant take hers!!! Great fun, still ****ed at the thieving gits, turns out the alarm is the dentists surgery they just did, sounds like a car alarm, maty was hiding by my van daughter had looked out to see what was what, and when a fat rhino came charging down towards him, his day seemed to turn bad
worst thing was I dropped the wine bottle on the way glass everywhere, but better that than causing someone a mishap with it, I dont need a hard bed tonight. Good thing is, it would seem our neighbourhood is safe tonight, coppers everywhere, didnt catch them yet tho
bout 1/4 of an hour ago, she flies into my comfy retreat, DAD theres someone breaking into your van!!!!!!!!!!, so mad rhino is out of his chair in his wooly slippers, grabbing car keys on the way out of the door on his way to the van, somehow fetching up a wine bottle on the way!! arrive at van, cursory check all is ok, but alarms are going off down the road. daughter arrives, first comment, god you run fast for an old git!! Any how, she spys down the road some pykying b'steward trying to walk away nonchalantly, until I bellow come here you festering bum..., and off he goes, with a mate, at speed,so try to get into van to find wrong keys so madam says my car and off we go........................ them mini copers do have a nice turn of speed, not even got my belt on and shes hit a corner in second and my face is flat against the side window, then the windscreen as she hits the brakes for a junction. so I dial the plod as we pootle round and they have a chat as my commentary of the little tinkers is taken down, interspersed with for fffs sake slow down or youll run em down before seeing them, and said operator asks her to go home to meet the dog unit on their way. Got home, few deep breathes and mention to youngest offspring that she might wish to buy a less vibrant car in future, my heart cant take hers!!! Great fun, still ****ed at the thieving gits, turns out the alarm is the dentists surgery they just did, sounds like a car alarm, maty was hiding by my van daughter had looked out to see what was what, and when a fat rhino came charging down towards him, his day seemed to turn bad
worst thing was I dropped the wine bottle on the way glass everywhere, but better that than causing someone a mishap with it, I dont need a hard bed tonight. Good thing is, it would seem our neighbourhood is safe tonight, coppers everywhere, didnt catch them yet tho 
