a monday pick me up contains adult humour

View the thread, titled "a monday pick me up contains adult humour" which is posted in UK Plumbers Forums on UK Plumbers Forums.

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Same mate got in a lift and said to the pretty young thing beside him can I smell your fanny ....she gave him a dirty look and said certainly not........must be your feet then he replied...lol regards Turnpin:smile5:
 
This is the Italian Minister Maria Elena Boschi, signing up for her new Government position.
In my opinion, quite the wrong choice of shoe colour to wear with that suit for such an occasion.

image.jpg
 
Young fella go's into a chemist and ask's for a packet of condom's pay's and give the man behind the counter a big smile and laugh's as he leave's......this go's on for three day's....on the third day as he leave's the chemist say's to his assistant follow him and let me know where he go's......on his return the chemist say's well.....round your house came the reply......lol regards Turnpin:smilielol5:
 
You can now get insurance for sex in the UK!

So make sure you get the correct insurance for the sex you are having.

Please find a list of companies below catering for most tastes:-


Sex with your wife - Legal & General

Sex on the telephone - Direct Line

Sex with your partner - Standard Life

Sex with someone different - Go Compare

Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than

Sex on the back seat of a car - Sheila's Wheels

Sex with a prostitute - Commercial Union

Sex with your maid - Employer's Liability

Sex with an OAP - Saga

Sex resulting in pregnancy - General Accident


and finally


Sex with a transvestite - Confused.com



Make sure you are adequately covered! Or should that read make sure you adequately covered
 
An old boy asks his mate if he knows anyone who will murder his wife. His mate says sure Gino will do it. Gino turns up and says I'll kill your wife, I'll shoot right under the titty. The old boy says I want her dead not kneecapped.
 
All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
Trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum
And insulted him,
So in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
The stomach was bloated,
The legs got wobbly,
The eyes got watery,
And the blood was toxic..
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work...
An Arse Hole is usually in charge!!!
 
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