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Garden sheds, how do you secure (BOOBY-TRAP) yours?

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Keefy

Keefy

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Just moved into my new house and it came complete with a garden shed (it's got a bench and vice inside!!!) - anyway, can't upload a pic at the moment due to some PC issue but I'm planning on storing my tools, fittings, pipe etc in there and am wondering what evil and crafty things I can do to outwit a shed burglar.

Short of killing the unwanted pest I'd like to hear painful and degrading methods, the most appealing will get a free drink in the 'Arms on the 31st of September!

Anything involving ball-gags or leather whips will result in a 3 day ban for the offender.
 
Baby monitor! But personally wouldn't keep anything of value in a shed. Just the wife's stuff.
 
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An acid bath for starters with razor wire and broken glass and if that doesn't stop him then a couple of shot guns with the triggers linked to the door should do it.
 
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Lots of locks, fake CCTV camera and these...
image.jpg
 
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I've got a load of spare chess pieces you could lay down in front the shed door! (Home alone style) Or put a sign up warning them about your new nice and their balls. :61:
 
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Cheers fellas, was discussing with missus how I could make a secret lock on the shed which would actually make the main shed door a decoy to the real opening - a bit like a magician's box. She doesn't get it though which means I have to seek help from my fellow brethren.
 
tweakyboy said:
I've got a load of spare chess pieces you could lay down in front the shed door! (Home alone style) Or put a sign up warning them about your new nice and their balls. :61:
Click to expand...

Myself and the missus have read and re-read your post and still can't figure out what 'new nice and their balls' means????

Anyway, your move on chess.
 
Maybe it would be cheaper to move mate. You can leave your front door open down here!
 
Keefy said:
Just moved into my new house and it came complete with a garden shed (it's got a bench and vice inside!!!) - anyway, can't upload a pic at the moment due to some PC issue but I'm planning on storing my tools, fittings, pipe etc in there and am wondering what evil and crafty things I can do to outwit a shed burglar.

Short of killing the unwanted pest I'd like to hear painful and degrading methods, the most appealing will get a free drink in the 'Arms on the 31st of September!

Anything involving ball-gags or leather whips will result in a 3 day ban for the offender.
Click to expand...


I bet that was deliberate!

😉
 
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If someone want in then they will get in.
Your job is to slow them down or deter them.

First thing would be a light with a sensor
facing the shed.
Lots of chimes on inside of shed door so it makes a racket when opened.
One or two good quality locks. Anymore and it will pee you off every time you try to get in the shed.

To be fair tho if I was gonna keep tools in the shed I'd be sleeping outside it!!
 
But I do like the idea of a pit dug on the inside of shed with spikes at the bottom covered in excrement. If the spikes don't kill him, the infection will.

This is what the Viet Cong did
 
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Carpet grippers are a non deadly yet painful tool in your shed defence. With a bit of imagination you could be very successful in inflicting minor injury on an intruder. Just remember that no matter why the intruder got hurt. It's going to be your fault and you'll get screwed
 
I have a security light on 3 sides of the house at the minute but unless I notice the light come on I wouldn't be any the wiser. Lethal means is what I need. Especially like the poo-on-spikey sticks in a pit idea. 🙂
 
Someone was on my garden a few weeks ago ive got CCTV x5 cameras 24/7 recording x3 sensor lights by the shed its already got a electric roller with remote to open its fully alarmed with chime in house I've got a 6 foot block wall and trelliss that's painted with anti climb paint Not much more you can do the dumb druggy got in but couldn't get out as is 8 foot drop into garden the lights came on I looked out the window shouted I've got a gun 5 crossman destroyer rounds at the shed roller and I'm going to kill you wow never seen someone run so fast
 
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buy or make big tool box and bolt it to the floor ,

dont over stock with materials

never over stock keep scrap

just be sensible and you will be ok
 
I just moved in the shed was empty so tbh I think they just think ohhhh plumber copper lets break in well I feel sorry for any one who try's mine
 
If there is room build a little annex to the shed about half as high with big steel hinges on a roof board. Secure this with several large padlock and chains.

Fill with bricks and paint on the side......TOOLS


Can't beat a good diversion.😀
 
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Buy 6 candles, cut the tapered ends off, and tape the remainder of the candles together like they were sticks of dynamite.

Then get a cheap countdown timer, a battery, a few random components, and a load of wire, to complete your home made "bomb".

Stick it to the wall of the shed facing the door, with the timer linked to a contact switch on the door so that once the door opens, it lights up and starts counting down - 59...58...57...

Next to the "bomb" put a pair of wire cutters and a note saying "To disarm, cut the blue wire. Sorry, no cut the red wire. Oh, I forget. Do you feel lucky?"

If you are feeling mean, link the timer to a real sound bomb...
 
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Duct tape the bomb to a cocker spaniel that just loves people and will follow burgled as he tries to run away
 
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