Garden sheds, how do you secure (BOOBY-TRAP) yours?

[Keefy]

Just moved into my new house and it came complete with a garden shed (it's got a bench and vice inside!!!) - anyway, can't upload a pic at the moment due to some PC issue but I'm planning on storing my tools, fittings, pipe etc in there and am wondering what evil and crafty things I can do to outwit a shed burglar.

Short of killing the unwanted pest I'd like to hear painful and degrading methods, the most appealing will get a free drink in the 'Arms on the 31st of September!

Anything involving ball-gags or leather whips will result in a 3 day ban for the offender.

 

[lame plumber]

large growly thing living in the garden helps, and they are tax deductable if its security 🙂

 

[Leo21]

Baby monitor! But personally wouldn't keep anything of value in a shed. Just the wife's stuff.

 

[Phil]

An acid bath for starters with razor wire and broken glass and if that doesn't stop him then a couple of shot guns with the triggers linked to the door should do it.

 

[lame plumber]

poachers alarm, pointing at the door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rickster123]

Lots of locks, fake CCTV camera and these...

 

[tweakyboy]

I've got a load of spare chess pieces you could lay down in front the shed door! (Home alone style) Or put a sign up warning them about your new nice and their balls. :61:

 

[Keefy]

Cheers fellas, was discussing with missus how I could make a secret lock on the shed which would actually make the main shed door a decoy to the real opening - a bit like a magician's box. She doesn't get it though which means I have to seek help from my fellow brethren.

 

[Keefy]

I've got a load of spare chess pieces you could lay down in front the shed door! (Home alone style) Or put a sign up warning them about your new nice and their balls. :61:

Myself and the missus have read and re-read your post and still can't figure out what 'new nice and their balls' means????

Anyway, your move on chess.

 

[Rickster123]

Maybe it would be cheaper to move mate. You can leave your front door open down here!

 

[anz]

Just moved into my new house and it came complete with a garden shed (it's got a bench and vice inside!!!) - anyway, can't upload a pic at the moment due to some PC issue but I'm planning on storing my tools, fittings, pipe etc in there and am wondering what evil and crafty things I can do to outwit a shed burglar.

Short of killing the unwanted pest I'd like to hear painful and degrading methods, the most appealing will get a free drink in the 'Arms on the 31st of September!

Anything involving ball-gags or leather whips will result in a 3 day ban for the offender.

I bet that was deliberate!

😉

 

[tweakyboy]

myself and the missus have read and re-read your post and still can't figure out what 'new nice and their balls' means????

Anyway, your move on chess.

vice i mean vice!

 

[Dotty]

This is my shed protection!

 

[Rickster123]

This is my shed protection!

View attachment 14711

halloweeeeeeeeeeeen!

 

[Keefy]

vice i mean vice!

Aah, now I getcha! They'd have to have a big pair to try my shed, I tell ya'!

 

[Kyle87]

If someone want in then they will get in.
Your job is to slow them down or deter them.

First thing would be a light with a sensor
facing the shed.
Lots of chimes on inside of shed door so it makes a racket when opened.
One or two good quality locks. Anymore and it will pee you off every time you try to get in the shed.

To be fair tho if I was gonna keep tools in the shed I'd be sleeping outside it!!

 

[Kyle87]

But I do like the idea of a pit dug on the inside of shed with spikes at the bottom covered in excrement. If the spikes don't kill him, the infection will.

This is what the Viet Cong did

 

[Leo21]

Maybe it would be cheaper to move mate. You can leave your front door open down here!

(disclaimer) as long as you don't mind someone nicking everything including carpets, smells and fridge contents.

 

[Kyle87]

Carpet grippers are a non deadly yet painful tool in your shed defence. With a bit of imagination you could be very successful in inflicting minor injury on an intruder. Just remember that no matter why the intruder got hurt. It's going to be your fault and you'll get screwed

 

[Keefy]

I have a security light on 3 sides of the house at the minute but unless I notice the light come on I wouldn't be any the wiser. Lethal means is what I need. Especially like the poo-on-spikey sticks in a pit idea. 🙂