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T

Toxic Ted

After reading countess doom and gloom stories of yet another deadly disease coming to a town near you i can't help but wonder what will get me in the end. It seems we are surrounded by deadly parasites, bugs and diseases which are poised to attack at any moment, but i am starting to get a bit disappointed with all these empty threats of destruction. What ever happened to the old favourites like being nagged to death.......or bored to death......it seems the wife has already made a start on the former so i'd better pour a beer before it starts just so she can ask me if i'm trying to drink myself into an early grave........which i can deny as its getting on for six o'clock.......chin chin!
 
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As long as I can feed myself and wipe my own backside then im happy being still around. The minute I cant then its cheerio.

You're havin a laugh......i'll be making the most of it having some young polish totty giving me a bed bath and wiping my arris into the bargain. I do a fair bit at dementia homes and i can tell you some of the old fella's in there haven't lost it at all........they know exactly what they are doing.
 
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I'm with toxic on that. Do a few nursing homes, some fine nurses in there alright. Just my luck to get d male ones washing me. Although d place would put the frighteners on ye. It's all ould women. They defo outlive d men by a long shot. All that nagging prolongs yer life!!
 
I'm hoping to get shagged to death by Scarlett Johanssen........

I'm think I would prefer to expire in the tender embraces of Scarlett Johanssen's great, great, great, great, great, great grand-daughter. 🙂
 
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