most common thing said

[nysk2008]

if your work harder and get it done tonight, I will make you more tea. This was an a proper thing. was there till 10pm but 1 hr spend weeing i recon

 

[Pipedream]

A bit topical but here goes. I need my bathroom refurbishing / new radiators fitting / new boiler / tap washers changing etc, etc before Christmas - usually said on or around 14 December

 

[heliotrope]

You don't need to look at the boiler, my friend/bil/cousin/dad...looked it up on the internet.

Only needs xxxxxxxxxx/ clean the xxxxxxx/ xxxx just needs adjusting..................

 

[secret squirrel]

That tap was working until you changed the radiator

 

[secret squirrel]

Oh just got another 1.......

ready.........

You've packed your tools up, got your money. THEN

''Just before you go can you have a look at .........''

 

[Plumblock]

Oh at least we know the smoke alarm works ha ha !

 

[WHPES]

My Warmflow boiler is leaking

 

[southcoastboile]

i had this pakistan guy the other day, well 10 in 1 house (he was one of those that watches everything you do). worcester boiler, pcb fault, went back the next day to replace it, he said to me as i half way through changing it: "were your next job" as often customers do so i replied not sure i think its in totton, anyway i finished the job got payment (which was a struggle) and just as i was about to leave he said: "you give me lift to totton?"
pfft....the cheek, replied with no sorry i'm not insured to take you.

 

[PlumbBobBob]

whereabouts are you based? that was to southcoastboile not a most commonly sadi thing lol.

 

[Gordon T]

How much?!

 

[Deleted member 25704]

Do you do free estimates?

This means the customer only wants a free estimate, they do not want you to do the job.

I want central heating fitting, I have bought all the gear, I just want a price for fitting it

This means the customer does not want you to make any profit, and they will most likely be unhappy with your workmanship, because they don't really want to pay for labour either.

Do you have a call out charge?

This means they want you to come and diagnose their problem for free, so their neighbour can fix it.

I have a small job, will you just call in and have a look at it when you are in the area

This means they don't want to pay a call out fee, and presume you will be happy with a £tennah for fixing their leeking cylinder.

You can't get hold of a decent plumber when you need one

This was actually said to me by a customer, who's boiler I was fixing at 6pm on Christmas Eve, and I had responded to her call within half an hour!

 

[southcoastboile]

yeah i spose many people dont get asked that lol, based near southampton

 

[GQuigley67]

i wish i got a trade instead of working in an office....


yeah well least you probably work with some fit birds

 

[WaterTight]

wearing pencil skirts and silk blouses

and spending an unusually long time getting things out of the bottom drawers of filing cabinets

ok i've never worked in an office

it's probably just slack-jawed heffers scoffing doughnuts and discussing the x factor

 

[MattWeth]

wearing pencil skirts and silk blouses

and spending an unusually long time getting things out of the bottom drawers of filing cabinets

Unfortunately not in any office I've ever worked in

ok i've never worked in an office

it's probably just slack-jawed heffers scoffing doughnuts and discussing the x factor

That's more like it!

 

[SteveB43]

"...that'll be my 4 year old, he's just inquisitive....."

..when asked has anyone being playing with fitting overnight..

 

[GQuigley67]

my boiler isn't working but it was fine before you touched it....


I fixed your shower now i've broke your boiler ?

 

[dontknowitall]

How much?!

Most common thing said to me:

"Is that all?!"





As if ...

I read on here a while back something like:
If they shout at you you're charging too much
If they say nothing you're charging too little
If the eyes water you're spot on.

 

[WaterTight]

I'd like to develop a Derren Brown-like way of knowing the question "is that all?" is coming.

Customer: I've got to nip out to get some money, any idea how much it's going to be?

Me: (noticing a virtually imperceivable flicker of the eyebrow indicating that they've readied themselves that it might cost as much as £100 to change a tap washer) Since it was quick we'll call it £90.

 

[Best]

" Will you send me a bill? "

This is often customer speak for - I don't want to pay you now, or anytime soon!

 

[PlumbBobBob]

yeah i spose many people dont get asked that lol, based near southampton

guessed you were when you mentioned totton lol. i'm from hythe