Mr Freeman of Ringwood

[Ray Stafford]

We could have gone our entire lives, Mr Freeman, without ever being aware of each other's existence. You in your corner of Hampshire, and me in mine.

But that all changed, didn't it Mr Freeman? It all changed when Mrs Freeman ordered 29 tonnes of spring bulbs from "bulbs-r-us".

She ordered on the same day as Mrs S ordered. Being a modest soul with a small garden, Mrs S only ordered 1 ton of bulbs, but the fine people at Bulbs-r-us mixed up Mrs Freeman's order with Mrs S's order, and now there are 30 tonnes of bulbs outside my house.

To make matters worse, when Mrs S phoned Bulbs-r-us to tell them of the unfortunate mix-up, do you know what they said Mr Freeman? "Don't worry Mrs S" they said breezily. "Keep all 30 tonnes with our compliments, and we will re-ship Mrs Freeman's order."

So, Mr Freeman, I hope you are enjoying a leisurely saturday. Reading the paper, maybe watching the footie later? A lunchtime pint perhaps?

I won't be having such a restful time Mr Freeman. "Why is that Mr Stafford?" I hear you ask. Because, Mr Freeman, I shall be labouring in the garden, planting 30 tonnes of sodding spring bulbs, one at a bleedin' time!

I hate you Mr Freeman. I really hate you.

 

[Dotty]

Make sure you've adequate spacing between each bulb.

Oh! And try to mix the varieties so you have a pleasing effect on the eye when they flower next year!

 

[Ray Stafford]

Make sure you've adequate spacing between each bulb.

Oh! And try to mix the varieties so you have a pleasing effect on the eye when they flower next year!

Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

[Barry98]

Send me out as freebies

 

[Masood]

Make sure you've adequate spacing between each bulb.

Oh! And try to mix the varieties so you have a pleasing effect on the eye when they flower next year!

Perhaps shape the flower beds to spell out "I hate you Mr Freeman"?

 

[zeebeedee]

How much does 30 tons of bulbs cost?

 

[Barry98]

Cost is same as a plumber new knees and a back when you've done

 

[Reg Man]

Sell the 29 tons of complimentary bulbs on ebay and make enough profit to cover the cost of the 1 ton you ordered. You never know there might be a Mr Freeman out there who can't get hold of any because bulbs R Us have now got a shortage.

 

[Dotty]

How much does 30 tons of bulbs cost?

About the same as one ton it would seem.......

 

[Ray Stafford]

Sell the 29 tons of complimentary bulbs on ebay and make enough profit to cover the cost of the 1 ton you ordered. You never know there might be a Mr Freeman out there who can't get hold of any because bulbs R Us have now got a shortage.

Are you married Reg Man?

You don't seem to be familiar with wife-bargain theory?

 

[Dotty]

Are you married Reg Man?

You don't seem to be familiar with wife-bargain theory?

About as graspable as quantum physics isn't it?

 

[Rickster123]

I'll take 6 bulbs if that helps ray?!

 

[Dotty]

Shouldn't you be out eagerly deploying your dibber instead of prevaricating on here Ray?

 

[Dotty]

Any way......

Whats does 30 tons of bulbs look like?

 

[TomLane]

It's at times like this you wish you hadn't given up smoking hey Ray?!?

Never mind, think of the quality time you & Mrs S will spend together. Lots of quality, bulb-planting, time-passing, world-righting time!!

On second thoughts, text a mate, get them to ring you in 30 minutes with "an emergency family situation" & you're sorted! (Not that I've ever tried this should my missus ever see this....... honestly)

 

[Masood]

You know the worst thing is, you'll plant them all, the cats will dig most of them up and what's left will be eaten by insects so they won't bloom anyway.

 

[Barry98]

About this many john

 

[Rickster123]

More to the point who the hell orders 30 tonnes of bulbs?!

 

[Dotty]

More to the point who the hell orders 30 tonnes of bulbs?!

Even Mrs Freeman of Ringwood thought 30 tonnes was too much! Which is why she only ordered 29 tonnes!

 

[Destroyer2813]

I once had a order from pulsar direct turn up not for me rung em up they said don't worry keep it 10 Drayton trvs fittings and bits about 200.quids worth