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T

TomLane

Some customers never fail to amaze me!

It's Saturday evening, I've had a few drinks after watching the rugby & my phone rings! A rather worried customer who I have done some work for in the past but not for a while is ringing! I've saved their number as I remember them being a fussy couple but were always good with the work they've sent my way.

They have an emergency............... wait for it...............

Husband was in the shower, went to get out, slipped over on the tiled floor as he hadn't put the bath mat down & has pulled the basin off the wall! Amazingly, there isn't a drop of water spilled or leaking from anywhere apparently. The tap feeds (copper ironically, not flexis) have stayed in tact & even the waste is still in one piece! However, the wife tells me there is blood everywhere!! The husband has managed to cut himself falling over!

They're at A&E at the minute so I've told them I'll be out tomorrow morning to sort the basin out, once I've recovered from laughing so much!!

Priceless!
 
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Time to stop using self tappers and start pumping 2 tubes of silicone behind the basin like a proper plumber Tom!
 
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Worst call out was getting called out real late at night to a no hot water, tried speaking to the ounces tenant on the phone to put it off but she was having none of it. Drove 45 mins there to be handed a kettle by the tenant, who said 'I've got no hot water, can your fix it'

i ran straight back to the van and could have cried.

This one wasn't a call out but was quite interesting, I was doing a service in a council property one day and had to check the loft. Half way up the ladder my phone goes and I answer it and start chatting away to one of the lads. So there I am half way up a ladder when I look to my left. Above each door upstairs was a glass panel, we've all seen the, there quite common in council houses. I could believe what I was seeing. There was a woman ( the tenants daughter) sprawled out on the bed, naked, just going for it. Rubbing her nipples and everything it was quite a sight. She never saw me I don't think. So I quickly checked the loft and was too frightened to look again on the way down.
 
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Worst call out was getting called out real late at night to a no hot water, tried speaking to the ounces tenant on the phone to put it off but she was having none of it. Drove 45 mins there to be handed a kettle by the tenant, who said 'I've got no hot water, can your fix it'

i ran straight back to the van and could have cried.

This one wasn't a call out but was quite interesting, I was doing a service in a council property one day and had to check the loft. Half way up the ladder my phone goes and I answer it and start chatting away to one of the lads. So there I am half way up a ladder when I look to my left. Above each door upstairs was a glass panel, we've all seen the, there quite common in council houses. I could believe what I was seeing. There was a woman ( the tenants daughter) sprawled out on the bed, naked, just going for it. Rubbing her nipples and everything it was quite a sight. She never saw me I don't think. So I quickly checked the loft and was too frightened to look again on the way down.
was she fit?
 
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was she fit?

I'd guess she wasn't if he beat a hasty retreat!

It's a shame that, the videos I've seen when the plumber sees the customer in a compromising position the customer is usually a fit,lonely housewife looking for he "blockage to be rodded!!"


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
 
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Husbands just text me, apologising for the call. Apparently they were both in the bathroom together! Kids out, house to themselves!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
 
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Was called out to my shower dont work, go through all the usual questions turned any water or electric of have a look at shower dont kick pump in take handset of holder dropped it in bath and removed head in case of air magic shower works look at head scale, suggest she cleans shower head and leave
 
Had an emergency call late one night, "uncontrolled water leak!" Called the customer on phone and said I'm on my way, she said, "oh thank god! How long will you be" I was like its ok, I'm only ten minutes away. From the way she was sounding worried and relieved I was on way, I'm thinking, this must be a bad one. Anyway, I arrive at the customers flat and she lets me in and first thing she says is "glad to see you, want a cuppa? And heads off to make a cuppa, leaving me stood there not knowing where leak is, so I'm like "leave the cuppa for now, where is the leak? She takes me into the shower room and points at the shower, I'm stood there looking at it trying to work out, where the hell is this leak so I'm like, "where is it leaking from?" She said, "if you stand in the shower you will see" I kid you not, I'm stood in the shower staring at the shower head and waiting for a drip, it dripped once every 20 seconds. I was gob-smacked, I was like sorry but this is no emergency, she said, wait for it..............
"but I'm on a water meter!"

I didn't hang around for the cup of tea.
 
Had an emergency call late one night, "uncontrolled water leak!" Called the customer on phone and said I'm on my way, she said, "oh thank god! How long will you be" I was like its ok, I'm only ten minutes away. From the way she was sounding worried and relieved I was on way, I'm thinking, this must be a bad one. Anyway, I arrive at the customers flat and she lets me in and first thing she says is "glad to see you, want a cuppa? And heads off to make a cuppa, leaving me stood there not knowing where leak is, so I'm like "leave the cuppa for now, where is the leak? She takes me into the shower room and points at the shower, I'm stood there looking at it trying to work out, where the hell is this leak so I'm like, "where is it leaking from?" She said, "if you stand in the shower you will see" I kid you not, I'm stood in the shower staring at the shower head and waiting for a drip, it dripped once every 20 seconds. I was gob-smacked, I was like sorry but this is no emergency, she said, wait for it..............
"but I'm on a water meter!"

I didn't hang around for the cup of tea.

She wasn't one of those lonely housewives then looking for some "company"?!?!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
 
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A 10pm callout to "fix a toilet". Arrived at the house, which had 4 TOILETS!!!! to find the push button had broken on ONE of them. Unbelievable.
 
a few years back 2pm call in the morning wife and my new daughter only home for 3 days so not getting much sleep

my toilets not working,well go take a fking dump in the garden then ......click
 
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On the subject of the lonely housewife requiring a special service, has anyone encountered this sort of thing?!?! Just like you see in the videos?!?!
 
On the subject of the lonely housewife requiring a special service, has anyone encountered this sort of thing?!?! Just like you see in the videos?!?!

Like one of these
[video=youtube;lzQ1H6Nsups]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzQ1H6Nsups[/video]
 
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I don't believe you Tom!


I can't believe someone working for big gas went up a ladder ;-)

I was working for the council at the time. We lived up ladders Birmingham council love vertical flues for some reason. They also love housing dole scrounging, drug dealing, old lady mugging, living off he state junkies. Which is why I left, I hated every minute of it, the only good side was the money.
 

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