T
tamz
As a man of the world i'll offer advice on anything.
Test me :smile:
Test me :smile:
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Agony Uncle
- Thread starter tamz
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View the thread, titled "Agony Uncle" which is posted in UK Plumbers Forums on UK Plumbers Forums.
L
lame plumber
As a bloke with a tiny winkle, how have you managed all these years with the ladies?
B
Billy Bob Bob
dear uncle tam,
there is a bloke on the forum who may be inbred with a flipper and a tail,hes from devon, is he a poor soul or a lucky ******* with all this torrential flooding
there is a bloke on the forum who may be inbred with a flipper and a tail,hes from devon, is he a poor soul or a lucky ******* with all this torrential flooding
L
lame plumber
now who's having a go at Tamz accusing him of having half a cock 🙂
T
tamz
My winkle size is adequate for my needs and has never hamperd my efforts to get aquainted with the ladies in fact it can lead to more adventurous encounters in the ladies attempt to get that extra ¼".
L
lame plumber
dont need fins, Ive got a landy (you set me up to say that didnt you GM 🙂 )
Dear tamz, if you had slept with a forum members daughter, who is based in the derby area.
Said daughter has asked you to go up and stay with her.
would you risk it or break contact.....
Said daughter has asked you to go up and stay with her.
would you risk it or break contact.....
R
Rickster123
Dear uncle Tamz,
id like to watch boxing tonight on sky sports but my mrs wants to watch some sort of ice dancing, opera singing celebrity ****e instead. How do I get to watch the boxing and still have a chance of abit of loving later?
thanks in advance!
id like to watch boxing tonight on sky sports but my mrs wants to watch some sort of ice dancing, opera singing celebrity ****e instead. How do I get to watch the boxing and still have a chance of abit of loving later?
thanks in advance!
L
lame plumber
Is there anyway you can get Wales towed over to Ireland please? they may be very sulky in 10 minutes or so
R
Rickster123
Forget my problem! Lets hear all about this!
I
iain85
pics needed first for any meaningful advice to be forthcoming.
B
Billy Bob Bob
who is it then?
T
tamz
I need to eat
M
Masood
You want pics of Billy with his todger out?
I had to delete those photos first.
he enjoyed the rest of what was on the phone.
E
Ermintrude
Dear uncle tams.
I'm worried about billy. He's obsessed with tools . Think he has probably had a 'special' time with a milwaukiee pipe expander, whilst wearing a red heated cot and using an m18 inspection camera to perform a self inflicted colonoscopy? 🙁 just worried about the face painted wee man!
I'm worried about billy. He's obsessed with tools . Think he has probably had a 'special' time with a milwaukiee pipe expander, whilst wearing a red heated cot and using an m18 inspection camera to perform a self inflicted colonoscopy? 🙁 just worried about the face painted wee man!
E
Ermintrude
Plus I don't think his chargers have been pat tested!
D
Dotty
Dear Uncle Tamz,
A short arsed forum member keeps sending me pics of a young lady with her baps out. I'm suddenly worried she might live in Derby...........
A short arsed forum member keeps sending me pics of a young lady with her baps out. I'm suddenly worried she might live in Derby...........
That was one posted by a random "facebook famous" girl 🙂
popped up on the news feed and thought you would appreciate it 😀
Reminds me, i have another deal to post up!!
The paint on the face could be Milwaukee Expander Cone Grease…
Available from all good app stores...
D
Dotty
Picture was deleted in blind panic as Mrs Croppie was sitting next to me at the time....
T
tamz
Thats me done my good deed for the day. Where was i?
Tut and there was me thinking you were a real man
T
tamz
I'm afraid he may be beyond my help and he's fkd if he is depending on those environmental guys who think they look cool in a yella jaiket.
Stick a pound in your nearest RNLI box to help fund further research into this deliberating condition.
T
tamz
Billy Billy Billy. What can i say! Yer a selfish bstrd. I'd have scouted her out for you. Anyway you've dug yer hole so lie in it.
It is the mother you need to win over. A wee bunch of flowers from the garage when you knock the door should save (or delay) you getting a kicking.
Get in there.
T
tamz
This is all about tactics and timing.
Start a bit love talk maybe 30 minutes or so before the fight comes on then run her a bath with some candles around, a bit soft music, a wee glass of wine and throw some of that smelly stuff she likes in there.
Take her by the hand with about 2 minutes to go and tell her to relax.
Hopefully it will be a quick knockout becauser this is a short term thing.
T
tamz
I just tried ringing but pickfords are engaged. It looks fine where it is anyway.
T
tamz
Billy is just a young boy so obviously he is obsessed with tools. At that age i know i was. I couldn't keep my hand off it.
As far as the pipe expanders go he will learn to axcept what he has got which is easier once he finds the love of his life (maybe not in Derby) and she accepts it.
Billy can i borrow yer inspection camera :wink:
T
tamz
Many a nice tit in Derby. I won't hold that against him :smile:
D
Dotty
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