Good, bad and strange customer moments

[Keefy]

We've all had them; good, bad and strange customer moments/stories, of which I have quite a few, one of which I'll tell just to get the ball rolling...

Arrived at a job one morning to install a new CH system. Was really surprised as well as glad to see the house was all but bare of furniture, so during my 'get to know you' conversation with the elderly customer she told me almost apologetically that the reason she had no furniture was that her son was an alcoholic gambler who would often steal and sell her belongings to fund his habit. On asking where her son was at this particular moment (worried he might rob my tools) she told me he was in prison for stealing her jewellery.

Really sad. 🙁

Anyway, being on 'pipe up and hang the upstairs rads duty' the first thing I did was lift a piece of loose bedroom floorboard which was perfectly positioned for my first rad tail - and there's a handfull of shiny bracelets, rings and what not. I call the lady upstairs and ask her;

"You know that jewellery you said your son is in jail for stealing?" She replies "Yes?" I say "Is this it?"

She says "Yes!"

 

[Rickster123]

Great to see you back on Keefy. Hope you and your young family are doing well.

 

[Dotty]

Not to mention the pigeon. ...

 

[Ch4 plumbing]

Fitted a new pump In a house years ago and whilst on my knees in the cupboard the woman passed me a cup of tea, I looked up and her silk robe had parted and their staring me in the face was her bush!! Nearly fell into the cupboard :rockon2:

 

[JCplumb]

Went out on a sunday evening to fix a leak in a bathroom of a lady who I've done a few jobs for. (Sunday evening rates mwuhaha)
Anyway, she has a daughter 16ish with learning difficulties who wouldn't stop talking to me, she was getting manic and agitated if I wasn't replying to her quickly enough, her mum was just sat on the bed of the en-suite wearing just her dressing gown texting me pictures of her miniature chihuahua and her miniature shi-tzu wearing daft little fancy dress outfits, seemingly not interested in her daughter making my job a lot harder.
Her daughter tells me that her sister is a dirty pig (mum still not batting an eyelid) and that she is really clean and only just had a shower, then asks me to smell her because she is so clean, I look round and she has her top pulled up so I can smell her, possibly the biggest boobs I've ever seen were staring back at me and her mum just told her to stop that and said sorry to me.

Possibly the most surreal experience I've ever had.

 

[Keefy]

Not to mention the pigeon. ...

Oh wow, blast from the past, forgot about that! :tongue3:
http://www.ukplumbersforums.co.uk/plumbers-arms/52878-anyone-know-pigeon.html

 

[leek]

Had to pop round to a little old ladies to look at her heating, as we walked into the bedroom, she said 'it's ok, I'm not going to rape you' wasn't quite sure what to say to that!

 

[rpm]

Had to pop round to a little old ladies to look at her heating, as we walked into the bedroom, she said 'it's ok, I'm not going to rape you' wasn't quite sure what to say to that!

Surrey eh! Think you may have missed a chance leek. lol

 

[leek]

Rpm, think I may bring my dinner up with that thought ;-)

Actually had a few bizarre experiences with oldies recently, had one lady from the mother in laws bowls club who had to be eighty if she was a day - telling me how fit she was and demonstrating how she could do the splits (well that was more than a bit surreal) before asking me to try and hit her so she could demonstrate her self defence, her actual words were 'I could put you flat on your back (what's scary is that she looked as if she might) She just wouldn't leave me alone, I only wanted to fit the basin, not get attacked by a batty old bag, would destroy the street cred eh..

From that job went to another house who insisted on showing me their pet snakes which I may have a slight phobia of.

Went home a bit shell shocked that day and considering a change of career.....

 

[Masood]

her mum was just sat on the bed of the en-suite wearing just her dressing gown texting me pictures of her miniature chihuahua and her miniature shi-tzu

Never heard it called that before! 🙂

 

[Rickster123]

Never heard it called that before! 🙂

I do love a growler!

 

[lame plumber]

wandering into the bathroom to turn on the hot tap when servicing the boiler only to find the MILF on the bog having a pee springs to mind, or the collection of 15 or so ****** on the bedhead at a boiler swap job, with the rad behind the bed! was another. Many I would rather forget thinking about it 🙂

 

[Phil]

I was working in a bathroom with my back to the toilet (toilet at other end of bathroom) and the customer came in and said "don't mind me I'm just using toilet" I carried on working and didn't turn round. We chatted away and then the smell hit me....he was only sat down dumping his load!!!

 

[lame plumber]

I was working in a bathroom with my back to the toilet (toilet at other end of bathroom) and the customer came in and said "don't mind me I'm just using toilet" I carried on working and didn't turn round. We chatted away and then the smell hit me....he was only sat down dumping his load!!!

customer relations can be too civil and relaxed ...................... 🙂

 

[LPC]

True story. Me and my old boss at a house about 6-8 years ago. Smelled a bit strange. We were stood talking in the hallway about something or other and we heard the most almighty noise. Like a massive snort. We looked at each other with that WTF face and the woman looks at us and says "oh sorry that's my just my pig". Then tells us she has a pig in the house. So we're like, ok, that's a bit odd but fair enough.

Noises continue then she opens the living room door and I swear this ****ing MASSIVE pig walks out of the living room and comes up to us. Biggest ****ing pig i've ever seen in a 3-bed semi in the Westcountry. Me and my boss were actually in tears laughing to the point we had to leave because the woman got offended. It lived in the kitchen and only just fitted through the door frames it was that huge. We were in the van laughing so hard I was retching. I managed to snap a few pics on my (old) camera phone i'll see if I can find them.

 

[LPC]

http://i.*********/qx8QmgB.jpg
http://i.*********/Okl9VV3.jpg
http://i.*********/3j552jf.jpg

 

[mfgs]

hahahahaha that pig is enormous! I would have burst out laughing as well if I saw that beast strolling around inside a house

 

[Phil]

A dirty great pig in the kitchen, lovely stuff!

 

[Dotty]

A dirty great pig in the kitchen, lovely stuff!

I really don't need to be reminded of my first wife!

 

[Rickster123]

I really don't need to be reminded of my first wife!

Mine was a cow...

 

[rpm]

Could tell story about a Good, bad and strange lady customer but I`m not sure if this is an open forum or not.

 

[Rickster123]

Could tell story about a Good, bad and strange lady customer but I`m not sure if this is an open forum or not.

You're in the arms so spill the beans! Unless it involves poo!

 

[rpm]

You're in the arms so spill the beans! Unless it involves poo!

You sure? cos when I scroll up to the top it doesn`t say which part of the forum I`m in anymore.

 

[Rickster123]

You sure? cos when I scroll up to the top it doesn`t say which part of the forum I`m in anymore.

Yeah we're still letting you in to play mate.

 

[Dotty]

Mine was a cow...

They could almost be sisters.