T
TomLane
You can get kits to fix anything these days but I've invented a kit for when you can't be bothered to fix something
It's called the Fu Kit
It's called the Fu Kit
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a monday pick me up contains adult humour
- Thread starter Barry98
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View the thread, titled "a monday pick me up contains adult humour" which is posted in UK Plumbers Forums on UK Plumbers Forums.
R
Resolute
P
PlumbBobBob
In south london a fire destroyed a block of flats. A family of 6 benefit cheats lived on the 1st floor...all perished. An islamic group of pakistani fundamentalist's lived on the second floor....all perished. 10 african asylum seekers lived on the 3rd and 4th floor...all perished. One white couple lived on the top floor.... Survived.... Relatives and local do gooders demanded to know why only the white couple survived....the fire chief quietly replied....'they were both at work'...
T
Toxic Ted
Gotta get me one of them!
always knew you were TOM xx🙂
Miss Bishop was teaching her class of 6-year olds.
"Sandy, can you spell cat?" she asked.
"C-A-T" said Sandy.
"Well done, Sandy. Tommy, can you spell dog?"
"D-O-G, Miss" replied Tommy.
"Well done, Tommy!" she said.
"Abdullah, can you spell racial discrimination?"
"Sandy, can you spell cat?" she asked.
"C-A-T" said Sandy.
"Well done, Sandy. Tommy, can you spell dog?"
"D-O-G, Miss" replied Tommy.
"Well done, Tommy!" she said.
"Abdullah, can you spell racial discrimination?"
B
Billy Bob Bob
[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]I was in my local post office this morning, I asked the young girl behind the counter "Do you keep stationary.?"[/FONT]
she replied "Only to begin with, then I go like a ****ing rabbit."
she replied "Only to begin with, then I go like a ****ing rabbit."
B
Billy Bob Bob
2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout....
Air in the hands
mother stickers
this is a **** up
Air in the hands
mother stickers
this is a **** up
B
Billy Bob Bob
So. There's a load of Cardinals mass-debating behind locked doors....The catholic church never changes.
B
Billy Bob Bob
No steak this evening so I'm on here instead...
Very funny think: https://www.youtube.com/embed/PpccpglnNf0
Very funny think: https://www.youtube.com/embed/PpccpglnNf0
And then this http://m.wimp.com/goatedition/
B
Billy Bob Bob
[FONT=verdana, geneva, lucida, lucida grande, arial, helvetica, sans-serif]The south African government has announced that Oscar Pistorious is to get the electric chair. Don't know about you, but i thought he was dangerous enough with stilts, what the hell is he going to be like with a mobility scooter?[/FONT]
R
Ray Stafford
I'm starting to worry about you Howsie. Have you been drinking ferroquest again?
B
Billy Bob Bob
good for clearing things out,and instant death apparently
B
Billy Bob Bob
B
Billy Bob Bob
ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL !!!
A hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Wednesday with its epicentre in Basildon. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing almost £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived.
Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon . One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Special Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Ratners and Bone China from the Pound shop.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White stilettos
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals
Tins of baked beans
KFC
Ice cream
Cans of Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine
£5 buys **** and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**BREAKING NEWS**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop and were worried she had been badly cut...
"Where are you bleeding from?" they asked,
"Romford" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?"
A hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Essex in the early hours of Wednesday with its epicentre in Basildon. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing almost £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived.
Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon . One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Special Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Ratners and Bone China from the Pound shop.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White stilettos
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals
Tins of baked beans
KFC
Ice cream
Cans of Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of nine
£5 buys **** and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**BREAKING NEWS**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop and were worried she had been badly cut...
"Where are you bleeding from?" they asked,
"Romford" said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?"
K
kay-jay
workers in belfast....
R
Ray Stafford
Took me a minute too. After they have loaded the tools that they used to fit the bollards - how are they getting the van out?
B
Billy Bob Bob
van has been built in
T
TomLane
The bollards are surrounding the van after they've installed them & no way of getting the van out!
T
TomLane
Top left? Looks like another post of some sort?!
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