things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

[secret squirrel]

I'm sure it was working before I got here.....

 

[plumberdarren]

No its Fine mrs, i dont mind waiting an extra hour while you 'pop' to the cash point ! (they know your coming , they know the price beforehand but never have the money ready grrrr)

 

[mjt]

yes mrs smith that compression joint is supposed to leak!!!

 

[GQuigley67]

mrs smith which way do i wrap this ptfe around this thread ?

 

[WHPES]

No love, barrier cream isn't for preventing unwanted pregnancies.

Hey man, d'y want some hemp?

 

[dontknowitall]

When did you last see your toes?

 

[WHPES]

I need to go and get you a strap-on

[boss]

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

When did you last see your toes?

lol i dont think the toilet you bought from b=q is designed for zoo animals madam you must weigh at least 30 stone you fat git

 

[dontknowitall]

Is that buzzing your phone?

 

[REDSAW]

no sir, i dont mind at all that someone else installed your cooker this sunday morning. i wouldnt expect you to waste your money phoning to let me know, anyways, i pass this way once a year on the way to my holidays.

 

[dontknowitall]

Something I did say ...

I was working with another plumber recently (brilliant plumber and much, much better than me I hasten to add). He was chatting to customer and I heard the customer ask, "How often, say out of 10 boilers, when you install a boiler, does it go wrong?" Before the poor chap could answer I shouted, "EVERY TIME!"

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

Something I did say ...

I was working with another plumber recently (brilliant plumber and much, much better than me I hasten to add). He was chatting to customer and I heard the customer ask, "How often, say out of 10 boilers, when you install a boiler, does it go wrong?" Before the poor chap could answer I shouted, "EVERY TIME!"

you should have said never .........except yours

 

[jhon lennon]

no i would prefer a cheque

 

[bantamgas]

I'm just surprised at the amount of customers called Smith.......i've not worked for anything called Smith yet.

 

[jhon lennon]

no love ive just had a brew and cake

 

[jhon lennon]

its ok leave him in i love big dogs

 

[jhon lennon]

i usually start at 730 in the morning and stay till the job is done

 

[jhon lennon]

thought you were a copper when i saw the uniform in the wardrobe but whats the whip for

 

[jhon lennon]

no you cant have a shower whilst ime working in the bathroom love you might get me soapy and wet

 

[jhon lennon]

can you both go and try your new underwear on in another room while i work in hear ladies