things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

[scotty plumber]

I just brushed my mess in to that hole in your floor as i could not be bothered going to get my dust-pan!

 

[scotty plumber]

Doe's it really matter if your shower is faulty as i don't think you use it very often?

 

[scotty plumber]

When i asked if i could borrow your hoover that was actually a hint for you to say ( Oh don't worry about that as il do it myself! )

 

[jhon lennon]

dont worry if u nip off to the shops i will wait if your not in

 

[jhon lennon]

that stain on the ceiling wasnt there befour

 

[jhon lennon]

its ok i have change for a fiver

 

[jhon lennon]

that banging noise from your boiler is nothing to worry about

 

[jhon lennon]

last time i saw your cat was just be four i put back the floorboards

 

[jhon lennon]

if you smell gas close all doors and windows and have a ciggie

 

[jhon lennon]

whoops i added up wrong i think ive overcharged you

 

[jhon lennon]

them ravenheat boilers are great

 

[scotty plumber]

See when i told you i was away to nip to the van to get a couple of bend's i was actually calling my plumber mate as i did not have a clue what i was doing!!

 

[GQuigley67]

have you got a waterfall feature in your living room ?

 

[quality]

No problem I will supply the parts and you can fit them yourself

 

[Destroyer2813]

Do you mind if i keep my shoes on and wear this mask cos your houses is minging and stinks and i"ll wipe my feet on the way out

 

[Rickster123]

Of course I'll come out of the bathroom so you can have a dump!

 

[AlexGas]

Come Plumb with Me.

 

[SimonJohns]

Yes no prolbem I will install this heap line for you and give you a warranty on it. Btw if you make it cash it will be cheaper too

 

[SafeGasInstall]

I am on £50k a year 🙂

 

[GQuigley67]

give me your clothes your boots and your motorcylce

 

[fuzzy]

i haven't had a major leak for days

 

[John_]

... I smell it too but don't worry about it, gas is not toxic.

 

[John_]

Sorry for flooding your house .... Forgotten the decorate cap on your TRV. My bad. :-( I will mop it up for free.

 

[John_]

Please don't hate me.

 

[John_]

"that was quick!" ... Yes when u know how to ..... that will be 100 quid please.

 

[dancinplumba]

put your boiler in and here's your groceries love....

 

[John_]

Of course I will sign your mate's work. That's what I am here for.

 

[John_]

... Of course I wont be the first to use your brand new wc pan .... The honour is yours.

 

[Pipes Plumbing]

Wow, these cheap IKEA traps you've bought are amazing...
No, no seriously I LOVE fighting with them for ages to stop them leaking because you are too tight to buy fittings that do what they are meant to.

 

[WaterTight]

I am Colonel Chicken-Cricket of The United States Sex Machines. Relinquish control of your bowels or face the wrath of my exploding trousers.

 

[Mike Jackson]

Wow a Chaffoteaux, my favourite boiler.

 

[Barry98]

course you can have your money back

 

[dontknowitall]

I wouldn't dream of using your vacuum. I'll get mine from the van.

 

[Puddle]

No problem,I will work round the tiler,electrician and kitchen fitter

 

[GQuigley67]

i wouldnt go in that toilet for a while, i just done a massive dump and as you know the water is off