things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

[fuzzy]

i haven't had a major leak for days

 

[John_]

... I smell it too but don't worry about it, gas is not toxic.

 

[John_]

Sorry for flooding your house .... Forgotten the decorate cap on your TRV. My bad. :-( I will mop it up for free.

 

[John_]

Please don't hate me.

 

[John_]

"that was quick!" ... Yes when u know how to ..... that will be 100 quid please.

 

[dancinplumba]

put your boiler in and here's your groceries love....

 

[John_]

Of course I will sign your mate's work. That's what I am here for.

 

[John_]

... Of course I wont be the first to use your brand new wc pan .... The honour is yours.

 

[Pipes Plumbing]

Wow, these cheap IKEA traps you've bought are amazing...
No, no seriously I LOVE fighting with them for ages to stop them leaking because you are too tight to buy fittings that do what they are meant to.

 

[WaterTight]

I am Colonel Chicken-Cricket of The United States Sex Machines. Relinquish control of your bowels or face the wrath of my exploding trousers.

 

[Mike Jackson]

Wow a Chaffoteaux, my favourite boiler.

 

[Barry98]

course you can have your money back

 

[dontknowitall]

I wouldn't dream of using your vacuum. I'll get mine from the van.

 

[Puddle]

No problem,I will work round the tiler,electrician and kitchen fitter

 

[GQuigley67]

i wouldnt go in that toilet for a while, i just done a massive dump and as you know the water is off

 

[PlumbBobBob]

of course i can come today to fit your new bathroom suite, and as it's my birthday i'll do it for nothing

 

[Barry98]

no i dont mind you ringing me at 3 in the morning

 

[fuzzy]

i work nights

 

[quality]

No don't remove that cover on your vent because you boiler has an open flue it does not need it

 

[PlumbBobBob]

of course i'll talk you through how to fix your boiler over the phone