Awkward moments at work

[kb76]

What are your most awkward moments while on a job? 2 of us on boiler change yesterday, nice couple in their 50's, nice house etc. The wife tells me she's going out now followed by "my husbands leaving today!" Didn't really know what to say and thought I won't mention anything to my mate till we're done and discussing the job over a pint in the local pub later. An hour later the husbands telling him the same thing as he's packing his things into the boot of the car. We finished the job, neither of them there, we had to knock on a neighbours door asking if they had a key to lock up...strange day!

 

[Alpha man]

Did you get paid?

 

[kb76]

Yes all paid up thankfully

 

[bright spark]

That's a bit awkward kb. But sure no ones sick, feck it.

 

[Rickster123]

One of the engineers walked into a bedroom to vent a rad last week and there was matey watching **** with headphones on knocking one out!! Awkward!!

 

[bright spark]

1 of my brothers was working in a factory last Monday. Guy in the office had a heart attack dropped dead. Poor lad couldn't be revived even with defibrillator and paramedics.

 

[Riley]

One of the engineers walked into a bedroom to vent a rad last week and there was matey watching **** with headphones on knocking one out!! Awkward!!

Did he let him finish or just say excuse me

 

[SimonG]

Refilling a system. Thought the bloke was the only person in the house. Walked into a bedroom. Curtains closed. Pinged the light. Naked woman sat up in bed. Did avert my eyes. After a good gawp. Apologised. Filled the rad and moved on.

 

[JAH HEATING]

When we were apprentices, my mate was servicing a bbu.

Then tenant, a fella was wearing suzzys sat on the couch whilst he an engineer did job

 

[bright spark]

Ah yes there's some right dirt birds out there.

 

[townfanjon]

when we were apprentices, my mate was servicing a bbu.

Then tenant, a fella was wearing suzzys sat on the couch whilst he an engineer did job

ffs !!

 

[GQuigley67]

Pulled a cupboard away while customer was watching me along with her daughter, male blow up doll falls out still in the box complete with strap on.

it was the mums

 

[bright spark]

Did she give ye a demo on it

 

[townfanjon]

Should this be in the Arms lol , just loving it !

 

[bright spark]

Was working in ould ones house when I was about 20. It was d wife of a guy I did a lot of work for. Was out d back servicing oil boiler. She had a load of lacy underwear on the line. She told me she didn't want soot on her undies.
No joke she asked me would she take them off or pull them t one side. I told her t leave them where they were. Thanks did job double quick and legged it

 

[Dotty]

Having seen the way this one's going, I think it's better off in the pub!

 

[JCplumb]

Had a job a good 10 years back to sort a part 2 in a loft, don't know if it's the same everywhere but round here a lot of the old houses have a window above some of the doors, I think it's called a skylight. Anyway on my way up the loft ladder I could clearly see the customers daughter 'pleasuring' herself on her bed through the window above her door, obviously I slowed my ascent down a bit, health and safety and all that while on a ladder 🙂
A year or so ago another customers daughter (who has learning difficulties) said her sister is a dirty pig and she's clean, she asked me to smell her to show how clean she is, I turned towards her saying that I'm busy and she had her top pulled up and possibly the biggest pair of puppies I've ever seen almost in my face 🙂 Her mum was also in the room and just told her to stop it then carried on texting me pictures of her dogs wearing outfits - definitely the most surreal few minutes of my life...

 

[Phil]

After I was assured that there was definatly no one in the downstairs toilet I flung the door open as I staggard in with my toolbox to be greeted by the my customer sat on the toilet wiping herself.

 

[GQuigley67]

I would say more but not until it's in the pub hahaha

 

[rpm]

I would say more but not until it's in the pub hahaha

It is now so carry on mate.

 

[oz-plumber]

Years ago, I had a customer who had a boob job done.

She opened the door, I walked in an she asked whether I noticed anything different about her.

( I did notice ) but said " You've changed your hair style"

She lifted her top and asked me if I had noticed 'these'

End of Story

 

[rpm]

Both mother and daughter knew I was in the house, fused spur was in a bedroom so when job was completed I walked into the bedroom to find 13yr in bra and panties, she freaked out but mum was as good as gold and calmed her down saying it was the same as wearing a bikini.
Thank you mum!

 

[rpm]

Mum let me in the house and told me daughter was asleep upstairs after working a nightshift, she didn`t tell me daughter was very fit, slept topless and had habit of leaving her boobs on display through half open door!

(Very hot summer)

 

[rpm]

Father let me in the house and told me son was upstairs asleep, hang on think I`ll put this one on the sparkies forum ! :lol:

 

[Stigster]

I went to change a leaking valve on an unvented cylinder a few years ago. I knock on the door of this bungalow and hear a muffled "It's open mate!" so in I go. I announce my arrival properly and say I'm going to need to turn the mains off to change the leaking valve on the cylinder. "Down here mate!" came the reply so I walked towards the door I can hear the voice coming from and find it slightly ajar and realising it's the bathroom I'm hesitant but he says "In here, come in mate!"

I opened the door and there was the customer. A bloke in his late 60's, sat on the toilet, trousers down taking a dump. To add to this bizarre scene he was puffing away on a cigarette and connected to an oxygen system for his emphysema. I backed out immediately and said, "where's the stopcock?"

"It's here mate, a bit stiff so you'll have to turn it" - It was between the toilet he was sitting on and the wall and he expected me to bend down next to him, taking a carp, and turn it off myself!

I said I wasn't going to carry on talking to him whilst he was giving birth to finless brown trout and would come back in 5 mins. After that everything went fairly well.

 

[Phil]

Ha ha ha...imagine if you did reach for the stoptap and he said..."while yer down there mate"

 

[Stigster]

The hideous thought did cross my mind. I figured he didn't have long left because he was on **** and oxygen at the same time (and that's without an explosion) and he might go for one last try at a bit of fun.

 

[hammers4spanner]

Come across many odd situations over the years working in peoples homes ,mostly social housing contracts seems to be many odd folk in these types of homes. Been kicked out of a house because a hooker had business, walked in on a chinese guy giving himself a quick knuckle shuffle ,had a few tranvestites open the front door when i have arrived .
The one that makes me chortle tho is when i was passed an apprentice was told he was lazy but needed a hand with someone to hang some rads , halfway through the morning cust comes up and says can i have a word with the apprentice . I ask why whats the matter ? well he's in my bed fast asleep she says . Go in the bedroom and their he is giving it full on ZZZZZZ's.

Could of died at the time .

 

[hammers4spanner]

One of the engineers walked into a bedroom to vent a rad last week and there was matey watching **** with headphones on knocking one out!! Awkward!!

Some of these H/A's are like a shrine to **** pictures used for wallpaper .

 

[1Steven]

I could fill a few chapters of a book!

 

[quality]

I once went to repair a faulty shower a while ago and as we walked upstairs together she was explaining there was no heat on any setting as we got to the top of the stairs, she turned and said "we have tried in different positions"

 

[Phil]

The mother of a customer was offering round the quality streets and she kept saying she loved a big purple one, I couldn't help but smirk.

Also in the tile shop a woman and her husband were in there complaining about a tiler they had recommended and she said she picks up on stuff as shes really anal, at least three times she confirmed loudly in the shop she was anal.

 

[Rickster123]

The mother of a customer was offering round the quality streets and she kept saying she loved a big purple one, I couldn't help but smirk.

Also in the tile shop a woman and her husband were in there complaining about a tiler they had recommended and she said she picks up on stuff as shes really anal, at least three times she confirmed loudly in the shop she was anal.

I'm glad I'm not the only childish one here! I had an old bird answer her door a while ago and she greeted me with the words "morning ****!" I nearly soiled myself laughing!

 

[Dotty]

Come across many odd situations over the years working in peoples homes ,mostly social housing contracts seems to be many odd folk in these types of homes. Been kicked out of a house because a hooker had business, walked in on a chinese guy giving himself a quick knuckle shuffle ,had a few tranvestites open the front door when i have arrived .
The one that makes me chortle tho is when i was passed an apprentice was told he was lazy but needed a hand with someone to hang some rads , halfway through the morning cust comes up and says can i have a word with the apprentice . I ask why whats the matter ? well he's in my bed fast asleep she says . Go in the bedroom and their he is giving it full on ZZZZZZ's.

Could of died at the time .

He would've been walking home there and then if he was my apprentice.

Told one apprentice to feck off home because he was no use to me (I'd been gritting my teeth for about two weeks up to this point!)

If it weren't for the fact we were in Enniskillen, 70 miles from where he lived and the public transport wasn't so shyte over here I would've let him go. And then told the management why.

 

[rpm]

I'm glad I'm not the only childish one here! I had an old bird answer her door a while ago and she greeted me with the words "morning ****!" I nearly soiled myself laughing!

Another missed opening?

 

[Rickster123]

Another missed opening?

Even with my low standards and lack of worry about personal hygiene it would've been a push!

 

[rpm]

Even with my low standards and lack of worry about personal hygiene it would've been a push!

Just lie back and think of KK as you normally do.

 

[Rickster123]

Just lie back and think of KK as you normally do.

Nothing wrong with her hygiene!! I bet she smells like a summers meadow!

 

[hammers4spanner]

Nothing wrong with her hygiene!! I bet she smells like a summers meadow!

More likely grandma's allotment

 

[Rickster123]

More likely grandma's allotment

I bet it's kept tidier than that!

 

[Dotty]

I bet it's kept tidier than that!

Be more like a badly packed kebab. Which, incidentally, is how I imagine Kerrys smells. ....

 

[Leo21]

Ive had a tenant bumping uglies upstairs, tranvestites, followed an old dear who farted constantly whilst showing me to the boiler and walked in on a woman dropping the kids off at the pool.
Quite tame compared to some.

 

[Riley]

Be more like a badly packed kebab. Which, incidentally, is how I imagine Kerrys smells. ....

She's gonna be a blue waffle

 

[Riley]

Don't google it

 

[Rickster123]

She's gonna be a blue waffle

We nearly got through 2016 without the blue waffle. You always lower the tone!

 

[Riley]

There must be some on here who haven't seen it. I like to share

 

[Dotty]

I'll never forget the time I looked up blue waffle. ...

 

[Phil]

Whats a blue waffle? I dare not Google..

 

[Masood]

Nothing wrong with her hygiene!! I bet she smells like a summers meadow!

Dog shyte and old *** ends?

 

[1Steven]

Have not seen blue waffle!

 

[markfxy]

jesus! just googled it that's horrendous:ack2:

 

[Riley]

Have not seen blue waffle!

Do it do it

 

[SimonG]

Urban myth. But if it was real I wouldn't touch it with somebody elses.

 

[Masood]

Do it do it

I kind of want to but I have a feeling it will haunt me forever..

 

[mfgs]

I kind of want to but I have a feeling it will haunt me forever..

It will, I wish curiosity never got the better of me!

 

[AMW]

I kind of want to but I have a feeling it will haunt me forever..

Enlighten yourself

 

[Phil]

I Googled Blue Waffle on my phone yesterday and I clicked on a site and I had a pop up saying my device was infected and I was to take action by installing something.
This is why I don't look at naked ladies online anymore, all the sites are dodgy.

I want to see Blue Waffle!

 

[1Steven]

😛uke:

Do it do it

:cry_smile:

 

[1Steven]

I Googled Blue Waffle on my phone yesterday and I clicked on a site and I had a pop up saying my device was infected and I was to take action by installing something.
This is why I don't look at naked ladies online anymore, all the sites are dodgy.

I want to see Blue Waffle!

Trust me you don't.

 

[rpm]

I could fill a few chapters of a book!

2 Paragraphs will do!

 

[hammers4spanner]

Blue waffle ??

 

[Rickster123]

Blue waffle ??

Don't do it mate. Don't do it.

 

[jonnyswamp]

Don't do it mate. Don't do it.

I did it and can honestly say I wish I didn't
It's actually put me off having a jump

 

[PlumbBobBob]

i shall resist

 

[Rickster123]

i shall resist

I'll text you the picture mate. Just as you're about to climb the stairs to Bedfordshire! It'll give you bad dreams for a week!

 

[Stigster]

Be more like a badly packed kebab. Which, incidentally, is how I imagine Kerrys smells. ....

I bet it's something resembling Brian May's plughole.

 

[Tonycane]

Had a job where the rad had come away from the wall and was leaning against the bed, me and my apprentice held the rad and slid the bed out the way to expose a 12" pink *****, the lady was stood there, looked at me, looked at the ***** and calmly asked me if I would like a brew. Apprentice was ****ing himself then proceeded to boot it across the room.

 

[Millsy 82]

Not in the same theme as every one else's but the one that sticks in my mind.

I got given a job on housing association for no heating, struggled to park any where near the property so had to park quite a way down the road.

Being my normal happy self when they answered the door said good morning I'm here to fix the heating, is parking always this shocking? She looked at me quite sad and said oh I'm ever so sorry my mum died and we have all the family here waiting to go to the funeral as well as the coffin in the middle of the room! I had no idea what to say and tried to say I would come back but lucky enough it was low pressure so I topped it up and shot off.

 

[Millsy 82]

Not in the same theme as every one else's but the one that sticks in my mind.

I got given a job on housing association for no heating, struggled to park any where near the property so had to park quite a way down the road.

Being my normal happy self when they answered the door said good morning I'm here to fix the heating, is parking always this shocking? She looked at me quite sad and said oh I'm ever so sorry my mum died and we have all the family here waiting to go to the funeral as well as the coffin in the middle of the room! I had no idea what to say and tried to say I would come back but lucky enough it was low pressure so I topped it up and shot off.

 

[Phil]

I had a funny awkward moment at work on Thursday, I met a bloke in a pub car park to take delivery of a full size plastic woman. My girlfriend is obsessed with vintage mannequins and she found one on ebay she wanted as a christmas present so I arranged for delivery and the guy dropped it off, I was working next to a pub so I said i'd meet him in the carpark for ease of finding. So he rings me and I zoomed round in the van, as soon as I was greeted by the sight of an estate car with the tailgate open and her parted legs hanging out I though OMG...he pulled her out and stood her up and showed her curves off to me. God forbid anyone I knew would have driven past as it was in our village. I couldn't wait to get her in the van I said its my girlfriends I'm not a pervert or anything ha ha ha..

 

[Rickster123]

She's not much of a looker is she?...

 

[Phil]

She's bald!

 

[Rickster123]

She's bald!

And more importantly she's got no knees.

 

[Dotty]

She's not much of a looker is she?...

NOW you're picky?

**kofkof...kerrykatona....kof**

 

[lame plumber]

rang a customer 2 years back to book a boiler service in, phoned answered and I went is that Mr "Smith", got the answer no it is his son, dad died an hour ago, I will get Mum for you....... Mum came on the line, oh yes we just got back from intensive care, we had the machines turned off so he passed away......... by this time I was a gibbering wreck wondering what to say, but she carried on for 20 minutes about this n that until i suggested I call back in a month or two to book in a service.....

She is stil a customer, lovely lady, but I havent forgotten that call in a hurry.

 

[Leo21]

I'm not sure pressing the like button was Appropriate ? But goood story.

 

[1Steven]

When i started work the company had a return job in London. Soho that was an eye opener at sixteen!

 

[Dotty]

When i started work the company had a return job in London. Soho that was an eye opener at sixteen!

You can't stop there!

 

[1Steven]

Was a stiff learning curve for a young lad!