Revenge - how would you serve it?!?

[TomLane]

For anyone that has ever been tipped to the point of dishing out some revenge to a customer for whatever reason, what would you do to satisfy the inner demon?







This is just for a bit of fun & rant as & when needed! I'm sure we would all agree as satisfying as it would be to carry out some of the acts, those individuals posting their ideas don't encourage you to do the same........ Actually, I'm lying, revenge is sweet!


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[Billy Bob Bob]

being vindictive i would get my axe and remove parts of there anatomy ,nobody ****s me about with payment

 

[Rickster123]

I'm a great believer in karma. It will come back and bite them in the end. Always does.

 

[jase158]

I would follow them for days in my van, until they were down a dark alleyway. Then I would get out in a baraclave, pull out my knife out and chop there fingers off, then there toes and then there privates. I would then call an ambulance and run. Make sure they stay alive.

 

[acecharly]

From what ive heard tonight im a great believer in croppie-fication. I cant begin to think of the mccarbre ways of monetary extraction he'll come up with lol

 

[EPH]

I'd PM any members of an associated forum his address so they could send him regular retribution/****/pizzas/love letters* through the post.


*delete as applicable.

 

[Dotty]

I'd be seen in public holding hands and getting very affectionate with the females in the custards family, continually push worms through the letter box AND leave bare bum prints on the bonnet of his car.

 

[cdodds2004]

i would turn his meter off every now and then,

 

[acecharly]

I wonder if you could put posters up around the custards town explaining what a rippoff merchant they were etc etc

 

[EPH]

I didn't get paid by a B & B not long ago after he flatly refused to give me any money even though he had no problem with the work done.

He now has 143 reviews on Tripadvisor, unfortunately 139 are very damning.

 

[Gray0689]

I didn't get paid by a B & B not long ago after he flatly refused to give me any money even though he had no problem with the work done.

He now has 143 reviews on Tripadvisor, unfortunately 139 are very damning.

I like that ;-)

 

[SimonJohns]

Turn water off at boundary box and fill with postcrete. Dash of water and leave

Or expanding foam

 

[tamz]

Brake fluid over the car. smashed every window on a car wi a bat, message on the lawn written with petrol, quick setting cement down the drains that went through under the concrete floor, met 1 guy in a nightclub 6 months later and knocked his teeth out in the bogs on a urinal and a few other daft things.
I've mellowed as i've gotten older :smile:

 

[Phil]

If I was doing a job in his house and wanted revenge I'd find a dead cat in the road and drop it into his CWSC for starters.

 

[Barry98]

I wonder if you could put posters up around the custards town explaining what a rippoff merchant they were etc etc

thats been done think it was mansfield

 

[Masood]

Brake fluid over the car. smashed every window on a car wi a bat, message on the lawn written with petrol, quick setting cement down the drains that went through under the concrete floor, met 1 guy in a nightclub 6 months later and knocked his teeth out in the bogs on a urinal and a few other daft things.
I've mellowed as i've gotten older :smile:

<doffs cap to Tamz, while slightly quaking in fear> :lol:

 

[peteheat]

I make sure I am at a local gathering of good people where I am acting and sounding drunk (credit union meetings & school nights are good), trusted third party pays a visit to offending party and pours icing sugar into the car tank, or his skeleton key happens to stick out of his pocket while walking past the car, house windows crack or break from mystery missiles, word starts to spread about someone being a child molester / conviction for similar etc.

Don't think all or some of the above has or hasn't happened, Croppie is a ***** cat compared to me where money is concerned 🙂

 

[Centralheatking]

Brasso into engine oil ! This was done by a customer of mine years ago whoose neighbour was havin it away with his mrs.

Brasso/toothpaste is a mild abrasive and wears out every bearing & contact surface where oil is supposed to help. Thus after 1 week a puff of blue smoke and after 1 month curtains for the E Type - then he told his neighbour, sacked his wife and rented the house (one of only two - his neighbour was the other) out to the worst family in West Wiltshire.

Santa :santa3:

 

[nicro3]

Breath breath karma will do the business.Or let yourself go

 

[peteheat]

Here's Karma for you.

I was commissioning a pellet boiler yesterday for a plumber who buys from me, he started a job (new house) a few years ago, first fix and partly second fixed when he asked for money (we had a Celtic Tiger) customer refused to pay anything until all the house was complete, obvious catch 22 here which led to rows he got about half the money and wrote it off to experience.

Three weeks ago a power cut in the area knocked out the settings on three Solo Radiators he had installed, now customer can't get anyone to reset the radiators which are all in the big open plan living area so no heat in the most important part of the house, plumber is now grinning like a Cheshire cat all day long because he knows the order to press the buttons for reset and very few others in this country do.

To make his smile wider, he also installed the Solo radiators in the house we were in yesterday, wife of the offending party asked wife of the second customer if she could take a look at the radiators in her house to try figure out how to reset, her answer was Tom (plumber) is doing another job for me he reset ours in a few minutes how about I ask him to call up to you?

Karma when she bites she can be nasty 🙂

 

[Leo21]

I,m lucky ive never been stitched up for any serious money. But on one occasion a guy who owed had all his porch windows put through. The bill was only £75, karma is a wonderful thing.

 

[markinaark]

Served cold is usually best, gives you time to be inventive,

 

[AWheating]

as im suffering from bad ibs id eat a curry and spend a few mins in there front porch LOL

 

[on31ll]

being a doorman on the weekend i hear all theses stories. all from paint stripper to smashing up cars and homes. i have heard of a man pouring concrete down sombodys drains and believe it or not the customer rang another doorman who worked on drains to come fix it he got quoted a load of money and the doorman beat the quote by £100 quid and did it as a forigner. and when he was paying the fellow doorman for the drains after he handed over the cash he said "im kicking myself my new insurence has no excess and is covered in the policy, i was looking at the old insurence policy when it said it wasnt covered".

 

[theanalyst]

Violence can be immensely satisfying..!
but probably not the best in this situation.

A neat little payback is expanding foam (using the staw sized nozzle) injected deep into his car(s) exhaust pipe.
Not quite as nasty as paint stripper but likely to cause him a shed load of hassle and investigation, whilst on the flipside not being serious enough to warrant getting your collar felt!

 

[Mike Jackson]

Blocking the exhaust could do a lot of damage and is still criminal damage so you could still get your collar felt.

 

[Masood]

Blocking the exhaust could do a lot of damage and is still criminal damage so you could still get your collar felt.

Yes but almost impossible to prove who did it...

 

[peteheat]

Yes but almost impossible to prove who did it...

Note to self:

Make sure to discard remaining remaining can of foam in someone elses bin, use gloves and discard into another bin.

 

[REDSAW]

for anything big say over £60, i start with the pets, ponds in particular bung in a bottle of fairy liquid,
if that dont work i go onto the grans then the kids but i dont like that as people may think your a peado.
they usually get the message then if not i send my cousins round and there gypo mates! and up the bill proportionately.

stab hole into expanding foam can then drop can into boundary cock.lol

 

[Phil]

Lets hope there are no double agents in the Arms, we don't want this on Watchdog. :devilish:

 

[TomLane]

Lets hope there are no double agents in the Arms, we don't want this on Watchdog. :devilish:

This could always work in our favour of course!

Don't pay & these are the consequences! Simples!
:77:

 

[Phil]

Nobody gets revenge like waiters in restraunts, if your a regular and a bad tipper then your steak will be used to clean the toilet bowl before serving.

 

[Plum Bob 66]

Nobody gets revenge like waiters in restraunts, if your a regular and a bad tipper then your steak will be used to clean the toilet bowl before serving.

I was 27 years in the Industry and would have to disagree, however I dismissed a sous chef for rubbing the general managers steaks round his spherical and plurals.

 

[Phil]

I was 27 years in the Industry and would have to disagree, however I dismissed a sous chef for rubbing the general managers steaks round his spherical and plurals.

Lol, I recently watched some american documentry 'when waiters go bad' or something, it was on there.

I mean does the chef really know what goes on behind his back??

 

[Barry98]

think best one i did years back 12-14 . for a large supermarket chain in there warehouse , boss diciplined me for clocking in at 5.57 (3 mins before 6) get paid for 6-2 but un written rule between engineers get there 10 mins early to handover.

anyway i flipped told him to stick it . let me finish shift off and i went into workshop and urinated in his bike helmets 6 blokes around laughing like hell. anyway shift finishes and were all stood at clocking out machine follow him out into car park and all watch him put it on. look in his eyes he knew but just drove off.

non of lads said out as they knew he needed a job for his son low and behold he started following week.

completely forgot about it till today been smiling like a cheshire cat all day

 

[Plum Bob 66]

Lol, I recently watched some american documentry 'when waiters go bad' or something, it was on there.

I mean does the chef really know what goes on behind his back??

We tend to have a sixth sense for that sort of thing

 

[AWheating]

speaking of waiters etc...... near me a curry house was closed down for spunking in the curry. One customer had taken some home and fell ill. took the left overs to the doctors to investigate food poisioning and they found spunk in the curry. 🙁

 

[Barry98]

was it *** ofsum yungguy

 

[AWheating]

was it *** ofsum yungguy

No it was a chicken ***mer.

 

[Plum Bob 66]

No it was a chicken ***mer.

Sure it was chicken jizfreyzi ?

 

[Barry98]

there coming thick and fast tonight

 

[Plum Bob 66]

prawn ballsag?

 

[markinaark]

Tub of ***my to go with those chips, yum yum

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

was the Chinese called wan king?

 

[kirkgas]

Or it could have been Jamaican jerk chicken

 

[pcollins]

There used to be a local Chinese takeway called Kum Tong near us. Never went in there myself...

 

[Dotty]

Chinese takeaway near where I used to live had the following available on the drinks list

Fanta
Lemonade
Cock
Diet Coke

 

[SimonG]

Chinese takeaway near where I used to live had the following available on the drinks list

Fanta
Lemonade
Cock
Diet Coke

Had to read that twice 🙂

 

[REDSAW]

Nobody gets revenge like waiters in restraunts, if your a regular and a bad tipper then your steak will be used to clean the toilet bowl before serving.

one of my first posts was in commercial/hotels.
used to watch the waiters play 'upsies' with the soup rolls then put them back in the trolley and serve them up at lunch to customers!!

 

[jase158]

Anyway, back to the subject in hand, but wouldnt it be sweeter to either
1. if it was a previous customer, find and excuse to go back
2. someone you dont like, then friend them and offer to do a free service on their boiler

Then condemn it as dangerous, say you wont be able to do it for couple weeks and make sure you do it in january.
You have the power (even though you shouldnt abuse it)
or just leave a small drip in the attic on a part that you were nowhere near and when they call you, say nothing to do with me mate, didnt touch that pipe.

 

[Plum Bob 66]

Chinese takeaway near where I used to live had the following available on the drinks list

Fanta
Lemonade
Cock
Diet Coke

was that for those that wanted a stiff drink ?

 

[peteheat]

Anyway, back to the subject in hand, but wouldnt it be sweeter to either
1. if it was a previous customer, find and excuse to go back
2. someone you dont like, then friend them and offer to do a free service on their boiler

Then condemn it as dangerous, say you wont be able to do it for couple weeks and make sure you do it in january.
You have the power (even though you shouldnt abuse it)
or just leave a small drip in the attic on a part that you were nowhere near and when they call you, say nothing to do with me mate, didnt touch that pipe.

Nice one jase, when paid we can just say we want to a final check over everything, if no pay they get a bonus leak.

Only an evil devious mind could come up with such a plan, any chance we could be related? 🙂

 

[on31ll]

i would punch them like this ???

CCTV of girl, 16, being punched to the ground in random attack | Mail Online

 

[Dotty]

i would punch them like this ???

CCTV of girl, 16, being punched to the ground in random attack | Mail Online

Jesus! I would hope not!

 

[peteheat]

That blow could have killed the girl or any man for that matter.