a monday pick me up contains adult humour

[stani]

 

[Plumbstar Tom]

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend

Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

 

[turnpin]

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend

Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

BOOM BOOM.......LOL regards Turnpin

 

[Dotty]

I always call my wife's name out when I'm having sex.

I like to make sure she's not around!

 

[stani]

 

[stani]

Come on then Steve, step forward, man up or, run like the clappers.



This actually made me feel ill.

 

[tamz]

I've shagged worse

 

[Paulplumb]

[video=youtube_share;LBwcrbY5ET0]https://youtu.be/LBwcrbY5ET0[/video]

 

[townfanjon]

I thought I would share this with you .... but probably only the football supporters among you will fully appreciate how funny it was.

Huddersfield town played Port vale in the cup this afternoon, a vale fan got chucked out by the rozzers as he passed the town fans , the Town fans started singing

" shot in a minute , your getting shot in a minute, shot in a minute , your getting shot in a minute , even the police laughed.

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

 

[stani]

 

[stani]

 

[Atouchofgas]

Hurt my arm this mornin and had to go to hospital for an x-ray, as I was sitting waiting to be seen, the lad next to me says," Fair fae yer honest sonsieface! Great chieftain o' the puddin race!!" I was like, eh?!?!., I turned my head round to the the lady sat on my other side, she said, " ! Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!" , As I grabbed the next doc walking past I said, "here mate is this the psychiatric ward?" He says," no this is the burns unit!
happy rabbie burns day

 

[stani]

 

[stani]

 

[stani]

 

[turnpin]

:biggrin:A woman went to the dentist and sat down in the chair dentist said you need a filling....oooh she said I'd much rather have a baby......dentist said make your mind up so I can adjust the seat....lol regards Turnpin

 

[joni os]

View attachment 28918

Many a true word spoken in jest.