things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

[REDSAW]

i dont mind at all you using the toilet why i nip out to the van to get a new syphon.

 

[REDSAW]

i dont mind explaining to you how to connect this gas appliance up sir, next time you will be able to do it yourself.

 

[SafeGasInstall]

How much I get for your cylinder Mr.

Of coures I'll fix your liking quoter turn ciramk valve ,
I'll just get my box with washers !!!!

 

[unguided1]

and I can tarmac yer drive, tear out them trees, sortout those dodgy roof tiles, jet yer drains, and my name is Jamie

 

[Barry98]

no there not your daughters nickers mr smith in my apprentices tool box , hes a cross dresser on a weekend

 

[Barry98]

yeah sure ill take you on and retrain you , where do u live ? end of my street . brilliant do you want picking up in a morning. no serious your the first person to ever ask me

 

[SafeGasInstall]

this one is from to day :

yes i will change you boiler on a day rate 🙂

 

[Barry98]

no mrs smith , your husband was right to turn your meter back to front so you'd get free gas

 

[royston]

Thank you for carrying on using your toilet when it was blocked, it smells delightful on this lovely monday morning when i have a sore head !!

 

[royston]

Here is your bill Mrs Smith and by the way i do take payment in kind.

 

[royston]

Yes of course i can travel round all the plumbers merchants to find a tap body to fit your taps.

 

[dontknowitall]

Sorry I farted ...

 

[moogwai]

Sorry I farted ...

ha ha i like it!!!

yes it was me who left skids in the pan!!!

 

[Billy Bob Bob]

thanks for just taking the biggest dump known to mankind when i have come to replace your bathroom suite its no problem you have to use the facility's,even though you knew i was coming at 8:30,you could have got up earlier but being a typical custard you wont put your selves out am i annoyed no i am just teasing you lady,you are a lady arnt you???? could not tell with your beard,you know sex discrimination laws and all that,whats that you are a lady??????? , damn,shave that off you furry beast i have not had my brekkie i got up early to sort your bathroom out i think i want to vomit......

 

[SafeGasInstall]

ohhhh you are so sexyyyyy 🙂 ( she really was )🙂🙂🙂

 

[SafeGasInstall]

did you just had a bath ???????(had one sexy lady ) open the door in the morning after 5 min waiting outside with bath rob only
god I just wished she would go back in .......never happened 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

 

[moogwai]

did you just had a bath ???????(had one sexy lady ) open the door in the morning after 5 min waiting outside with bath rob only
god I just wished she would go back in .......never happened 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

i had one lady who looked like heather from eastenders (couldve been her double),open the front door in a towel and pyjama top...her big rottweiler came pounding to the door and knocked the towel off her...all of a sudden the were 2 growling rottweiler's at the door and i felt sick and had nightmares for weeks!!!

 

[royston]

Lol i had a guy answer door once completely naked swinging free. I still wake up having cold sweats and need medication to help me sleep at night. And yes he looked like he was a member of the blue oyster bar off police academy .

 

[obseen16]

lol had a fat bloke answer the door in his cartoon y fronts, the worst part was he had just been for a run and i had to follow him up the stairs to the boiler, it was terrifying.

 

[rhp]

'No no Mrs Smith I don't mind little Jonnie playing with the blow torch and running off with my spanners'