things a gas engineer / plumber would never say

[kay-jay]

no you keep that ten pound tip and treat the kids

 

[GQuigley67]

mrs smith im just nipping out for a few minutes to smoke some crack, will be back in 5 mins to finish your boiler

 

[rhp]

What's that Mrs Smith, can you pay next month! of course, in fact don't worry it's on the house!

 

[quality]

No I am not Gas Safe registered thats why I am so cheap

 

[dontknowitall]

How do you remove the boiler's cover?

 

[rhp]

No Madam that gas valve is still available, i'll just do a tightness test and cap off before I pop out to get the part!

 

[mikegas]

I had to pee in the basin to check it was level

 

[franky]

You'll buy me a drink for payment instead of money why that seems like a great deal for changing a gas valve

 

[MoreleaksUK]

Silence is golden and the duct tape is in the van should you need it..........

 

[royston]

Here you go Mrs Smith ive just found your husbands stash of p orno mags and dvds round the back of the cylinder.

 

[GQuigley67]

if you dont mind me saying mrs smith i'd smash your back doors in your well bang tidy(this can be acceptable in some cases if its miss smith lol)

 

[philtheflush]

i forgot to ask before i started but can you swim

 

[philtheflush]

what ive done my love , ive just installed a water fountain in your bathroom looks lovley doesnt it

 

[dontknowitall]

Can you swim? LOL LOL - I've just got to use that one sometimes!!!

I try to have a joke with most customers (especially the older ones) and this one's really tickled me!

 

[REDSAW]

no sir, i dont have a gas safe registration card as it costs too much, i much prefer passing the savings to my customers thats why i only charge £10 per hour.
but i have seen this fire being installed before on a wall when i worked at b&q.

 

[philtheflush]

if your going to say it dont say to the elderly unless your a first aider

 

[CES]

Help yourself to the scrap mate, You've just saved me a trip to the dump cheers!

 

[royston]

Lol, lol, lol, luving the threads keep em coming !!

 

[Barry98]

sorry mr smith i didnt realise i was on your side of the bed , your lass never said anything

 

[mickie]

you could have cleaned you toilet before i came out, mr smith..

you've got a head ache and think its the boiler? well i dont detect any carbon monoxide, i think its this stinking house, try having a shower and opening the windows 🙂