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I normally pay for a prostitute when I'm down in Glasgow, instead of going out on the pull.

It's a lot cheaper than trying to get a Glaswegian bird ****ed.
 
I haven't got a twitter account, so I just carry around a megaphone to announce what I'm doing at random times.

I've got three followers so far, but I think two are the police
 
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TEL AVIV, Israel — The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you,
but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling.
It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion.
Shortly thereafter, an announcement: “Attention to all standby passengers,
El Al
is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London . Shalom!”
 
What would you say to a northerner with no arms and no legs when you can't find your watch?? ......


you got the time on ya cock?!
 
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