Welcome to the forum. Although you can post in any forum, the USA forum is here in case of local regs or laws

a monday pick me up contains adult humour

View the thread, titled "a monday pick me up contains adult humour" which is posted in UK Plumbers Forums on UK Plumbers Forums.

So Kerry Katona is pregnant.

She was asked "Do you know what sex it will be?"

"Probably just anal for the next 9 months" she replied.
 
Chinese takeaway £14.00

Petrol to pick it up £2.00

Getting all the way home to find out they forgot part of your order

Rice less
 
Not Pc but true
 

Attachments

  • uploadfromtaptalk1379102828098.jpg
    uploadfromtaptalk1379102828098.jpg
    75.2 KB · Views: 75
God breathes life into Adam and tells him... "You are man, my most favored creation, because of this I am going to give you the *****, and the brain."

Adam replies..."Thank you lord, thank you so much, thank you.

God says back to him, "Don't get to excited, there's a catch."

Adam asks, "What is the catch?"

God answers, "I'm only going to give you enough blood in your body to use one of them a time."

 
I pulled a girl the other night, she said she was never in the mood for sex till she had a bottle of wine in her.

After a bit of a struggle it turned out she meant she wanted to drink it.

 
A mighty fire had been raging at a Texas oil refinery. Fire engines from all around had tried in vain to get close enough to the fierce blaze to put it out, but the heat was so intense that no one could even get near the burning oil and gas. Hundreds of fire trucks from far and wide had been called and now they all just sat wondering what to do.
Suddenly, an old fire engine from a tiny fire company appeared in the distance. It was the only truck from a tiny town and had been driving all night in response to this alarm. To the amazement of all of the firemen, the tiny truck sped right past the other fire engines and came to a leisurely halt right at the base of the fire. The men in the tiny truck leaped out, doused themselves with water from their own hoses, and proceeded to extinguish the fire.

The next day at an awards ceremony for the 6 heroic men of the tiny fire company, the Governor presented the fire chief with a check for $20,000.

"What do you think your fire company will do with such a large amount of money?", asked the Governor.

"Well," replied the old fire chief, "the first thing we're gonna do with it is fix the brakes on that old ****ing truck!"
 
Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.

They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, "Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today."

"What?" his father replied.

"When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, 'Jesus, I'm coming, Jesus I'm coming.' If it wasn't for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure
 
When I saw the plumber's van parked outside the house, I feared the worst.

But thankfully, he was just ****ing the wife and there was no expensive leak.
 
That reminds me of my time as apprentice, We were lifting floor boards on a heating job, in a bedroom; found a 10" battery operated toy under the bed. OK. What to do with it. We put everything back in to place, when we had finished; except for the toy which my mate, decided to leave on the customers pillow. The next day working was a little anxious with the customer.
 
I've just installed a web cam in my bathroom.

You can follow me on ****ter

I just knew it would star the word out but you get ma drift
 
chuckle brothers are ace
to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me
 
chuckle brothers are ace
to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me

And now you've hit me with their punchline I feel my life is complete!
 
to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me



to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me



to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me




to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me




to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me




to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me
 
to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me



to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me



to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me




to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me




to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me


to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me




to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me to you to me

I would imagine they cater for the more intellectuall amongst us.
 
Meanwhile back on topic!

Mrs APPlumbing was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast when Adam walked in.
She turned and said, "You've got to make love to me, this very moment."
His eyes lit up and he thought, "This is my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave her his all, right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks." Then she returned to the stove.
Puzzled at her casual demeanor after such an unusual event, Adam asked, "What was that all about?"

"The egg timer's broken." She replied.....
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Little Billy watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Billy. "Giving up?"
 
An Irish schoolteacher asks her class to use the word "contagious."
Roland, the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."
"Well done Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"
Little Seamus speaks up and says, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."
 
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you talk!" exclaims the bartender. "I see your ears are working," says the duck. "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" The bartender brings the sandwich and beer. "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for two weeks. Then one day, the circus comes to town. The owner of the circus comes into the pub and the bartender says to him, "You own the circus? Listen, I know this duck that would be brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer and everything!" "Sounds marvelous," says the circus owner, "get him to give me a call." So, the next day when the duck comes into the pub, the bartender says, "Hey, Mr. Duck, I've got it all set. I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!" "Yeah?" says the duck. "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus," says the bartender. "The circus?" the duck inquires. "That's right," replies the bartender. "The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck. "That's right!" says the bartender. The duck looks confused, "What in the hell would they want with a plasterer?"
 

Official Sponsors of Plumbers Talk

Reply to the thread, titled "a monday pick me up contains adult humour" which is posted in UK Plumbers Forums on Plumbers Forums.

We recommend City Plumbing Supplies, BES, and Plumbing Superstore for all plumbing supplies.

Sponsors

Thread statistics

Created
Barry98,
Last reply from
stani,
Replies
3,356
Views
94,720
Back
Top